1 Minute Log

Moving!

2010-10-14T14:50:00.002-07:00

I've moved! Please visit my new site at http://hcitang.org/, and my blog at http://hcitang.org/blog/.

I think posts will remain here for posterity, but I've mirrored them all at the new place.

Sensory Deprivation

2010-04-03T20:03:00.002-07:00

C has come down with me to Atlanta. It's been a challenging little while, because we don't have any connections down here, nor a car that she can get around in. As a consequence, she's been at home a lot.

C: i am lying in bed with the blinds drawn
and blankets over my head
i'm pretending i'm in a vacuum
not the roomba kind of vacuum. the black hole variety

me: why are you in a vacuum?

C: i don't know
i'm just in one
sound and sight depravation
sight is a bit hampered by my laptop light
but it's close to dark as i guess i can get it

me: you know, you're supposed to go nuts if you go into sensory deprivation

C: yeah. i know

me: are you trying to induce that?

C: yes

me: great
anyway, when you are done, are you coming to school to work out and take me home?

It's Done

2010-02-27T08:02:00.003-08:00

Well, I finally finished. There were lots of times when I was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen, but it did. I'll do a longer post on that some time. In the meantime, I thought it would be the right thing to do to post the acknowledgments section as it appears in the dissertation.

I admit that this section has received more thoughtful consideration more frequently and more consistently than any other section in the entire dissertation. I thought about it when things were going well, and I thought about it when things were going poorly—a testament to what the PhD challenge was for me: an intellective one, certainly, but also an emotional one. I now see those times, the good ones and the bad ones, differently—they were all things that helped to prepare me to become the person that I am and will become. And—as challenging as many of those moments were—I am grateful for them, and for the people that saw me through them.

Cheryl, my best friend, my partner—thank you for the long nights of listening to me whine and complain, for sharing in the highs and lows, and always trying to support me in the ways you best knew how.

Sid, my supervisor, my biggest critic, and the one that best knew how to make me into a better researcher—thank you for pushing me the way you did. It was undoubtedly challenging, but helped make me into the researcher I am today: one who is more thoughtful, critical, and careful.

Carman, my friend, my colleague, my mentor—thank you for your friendship, your thoughts, and the countless hours of reading drafts, commenting on them, and for talking me through the hardest parts.

My committee, Kelly and Peter, were immeasurably helpful at each critical time. Thank you in particular to Kelly for helping me to frame my thoughts, and to help me find my confidence in my own analytic ability.

To my local “research family,” Joel, Nelson, Mike, Leah, Karyn, Kirstie, Karen, Nicole, Meghan, Garth, Rock, Matt and Ian, thank you for your companionship and support: you helped me ride through the worst of times, and pushed me up onto the saddle when I was too bashful during the best of times.

To my remote research family, Petra, Nelson, Mark, Gregor, I have appreciated your support and friendship—it will be fun continuing to make a splash in the research world with you.

Saul, Sheelagh, and Joanna, my life-supervisors, you have been invaluable as life mentors, helping me to understand my needs, my goals, my strengths and my weaknesses.

I thank and acknowledge NSERC, NECTAR, and UBC for financial support.

To my volleyball family, Jill, Becky, and Heather, thanks for keeping life light, and for helping to remind me that there can be important things outside of work ... and to not take life too seriously. Thank for helping to keep me sane when the research threatened to drown me.

Finally, to my buddy and brother Jonathan: you are the best friend a guy could ask for. I can't count the times I needed to chill out, and you were there. Whenever I think about the possibility of having done this PhD elsewhere, I can't help to think where our relationship would be. To have been able to spend the last five years growing up with you as I went through this challenge is a blessing that I cannot put into words.

And then my dedication page:

For my mother Eva, and my father Tom.

Thank you for sharing in my dreams.

PhD Core Competencies

2009-04-10T20:17:00.004-07:00

I wrote a partially tongue-in-cheek post a few years ago about what I termed "PhD depression." In the time that it has been up, it has somehow managed to crawl up the google rankings to sit #1 for searches on "phd depression." A funny thing started to happen: depressed PhD students from around the world (who had presumably stumbled onto the post after googling "phd depression") began posting comments. Sometimes, the comments were words and ideas that echoed my own; other times, students posted their own depressing experiences. I think though, that many students simply posted that they were glad to see someone else was going through what they'd been going through themselves... somehow, the awareness that "they weren't the only ones" made everyone feel a lot better.

In the few years since I wrote that post, I have had even more experiences as a grad student (and a PhD student). I have seen many smart people whom I respect leave the program, and I have also seen many smart people whom I respect complete their programs. Even though each person's particular experience is unique to their particular circumstance, what draws us all together is that we are going through a PhD, and I think there are some unversalities to that. I have discovered that the PhD is not the institutionalized "degree" that I'd imagined it to be at the outset. Instead, it's a very personal /process/ -- one that comes with a lot of soul searching, reflection, and self-discovery. Ultimately, doing and finishing a PhD is a decision one makes, and completing a PhD is more a reflection of conviction rather than intelligence.

Interesting Thoughts

"You don't give up, you just kind of give in." - PhD candidate near completion

"The PhD process is the exact opposite of the therapeutic process. In the therapeutic process, you set up an environment of non-judgementalism, and allow for self-discovery through dialogue. In a PhD, you are thrust into an environment with existing ways of scholarship and thinking, and your work is immediately (and often harshly) critiqued against existing work." - Counseling psychologist

Core Competencies of a PhD Student

I have come to think that successful PhD students have several core competencies. It is possible, I think, to complete a PhD without being "excellent" in each of these things, though I suspect that it is a might bit harder. The reality is that people are often lacking in these areas when they come into a PhD, and so a big part of the PhD is like remedial work where you "bump up" one of the core competencies. That said, I think many of the "star" students are essentially those that came in with all of these, and were probably a bit more creative than the rest of us.

Communication: Do you bore them with your elevator speech?

Ultimately, you have to be able to organize your ideas and be able to succinctly, concisely, and effectively communicate the myriad of ideas floating around your head. If you are unable to communicate, whether it be spoken or written, then you are at a severe disadvantage, because knowledge and ideas are not useful if they locked in your head, or difficult for people to gain access to them. A particularly successful HCI professor actually prides himself on actually making communication ability one of his primary recruitment filters.

Ability to Focus: Can you zen out?

The PhD process is a funny one where they ask you to essentially focus on a single idea, or a single set of ideas for a very, very long time. This is difficult, because the mind wanders and becomes bored of the idea long before the usual 3-6 year term is up. In the long-term, this means that you need to be able to focus on "the prize" so to speak, without becoming distracted by other opportunities that may arise (in the tech industry, many such opportunities arise). In the short term, one also needs to be able to focus: it's generally hard to come up with something new since it is much easier to just remember or come up with something someone else has already said.

Confidence & Conviction: Are you willing to speak your mind? How stubborn are you?

During the PhD process, a student will face many obstacles: both in terms of the ideas and work s/he is trying to produce. The reality is that the work that one is attempting to complete is novel, and often there is harsh judgement being placed on it. At any given point during the PhD process, there are far more reasons to stop what one is doing than to continue. One's conviction to continue along the existing path is related to one's self-confidence, and so your self-confidence has a big role in determining how quickly you finish.

Curiosity and Humility: Do you know what you don't know?

I don't know if this is a core competency, but to me, the best researchers seem to be the ones that are always asking questions: not questions to the speaker, necessarily, but questions of the world, of the knowledge out there, of themselves. Essentially, these researchers are those that know they don't know everything -- and also know what they don't know. If you think you know everything, you'd never seek anything else out. The best researchers are those that understand they don't know anything, and even more imprtantly, know what they don't know.

Concluding Thoughts

I have no data on any of this, it's just a collection of thoughts and ideas from the many discussions I've had with PhD students -- not about their work, but about the thoughts they've had. I could be wrong about all of this. What I do know is that I've seen people leave a PhD, and it has nothing to do with how smart they are or how talented they are. It's difficult to understate how many things have to go "right" for the 3-6 years it takes to complete a PhD: real life, boredom, timing with respect to the community, supervisor fit -- all of these things have an impact on a PhD student's likelihood of success... and the amazing thing is that many are out the student's control. I'll leave with three thoughts:

There are certain things the best researchers seem to all share, but just having them doesn't guarantee success.
A PhD is a process and reflection of conviction -- not of intelligence.
Everyone gets depressed during a PhD because of all the judgement that one is subject to. This experience is unbelievably normal.

Wisdom of the karpar: On Famous People

2009-03-03T08:57:00.002-08:00

One of my favourite stories belongs to KM, who remarked, "Frogs really do look slimey," to a famous person during a visit to an aquarium. "It was all I could think of," she protested when later recounting the story. I suppose it wouldn't have been so bad, except KM never got to speak with that famous person again during the conference.

During my recent visit to San Jose, I remarked to karpar how difficult it was to talk to famous people (in academia), waxing eloquent about the anxieties a grad student faces when trying to come up with interesting things to say to them. Without skipping a beat, karpar posited:

KP: Well, remember: everyone poops.

I guess that's better than imagining them without their clothes on.

Famous People

2009-02-25T11:30:00.007-08:00

Academia is interesting, because it makes rock stars out of geeks. Walking through a research facility or university, you will often pass by random people that look no different than the average Joe, but to his research community, is absolutely famous and adored. It is interesting that "famousness" goes with the territory: if you're not in the research community, this guy's just an average Joe with average Joe problems.

Case in point, yesterday evening, I saw SUPER famous guy having to deal with his kids. The funny thing is that his kids will never really understand just how famous he his. To them, he's just, "Dad -- the guy who doesn't let me eat ice cream for breakfast."

Wisdom of the karpar: On Geekiness

2009-02-22T23:48:00.003-08:00

I spent the weekend with my good buddy KP, of "there's a frog in my salad" fame, who lives down in the Bay Area.

T: I find I am pretty geeky. Even for geeks.
K: Try being down here. You'll realize either you're not as geeky as you think, or you'll be like, "I'm finally home." Soon, you'd find Transformer bumper sticker on your car.
T: Really?
K: Oh yeah. Transformers bumper stickers are far more common than is comfortable.
T: Is that why all the women are single here?
K: Disappointment at every turn.

The idle mind during long writing sessions...

2008-10-24T15:50:00.003-07:00

Probably right around the CHI submission deadline.

Tony: I wonder how accurate the microsoft word "total document editing time" is
Leah: What does it say?
Tony: 617 minutes
:-\
10 hours? that's it!?
That can't be right
Leah: Can't be right
Let me look at mine
Tony: Well, maybe it is automagically excluding my procrastinating time
This would explain a lot...
Maybe it is only actually including editing time
Like, when i'm typing
Leah: Aha, i found it
Tony: In which case, I am typing at 12 words a minute

The funny thing is that overall editing time was longer than 10 hours (each time you save the document as a new name, it resets the editing time). Overall, I'm sure I was operating at around 1 word a minute or so.

Sounds from the Lab...

2008-09-04T19:51:00.002-07:00

At school, Kirstie is a great source of funny quotes. I don't always remember them all, though.

On self confidence:
K: Don't worry -- no matter how good you feel about yourself, they'll always find another reviewer out there to bring you down a notch.

On characterizing stress during a post-doc:
T: It comes in waves, doesn't it?
K: The problem is that the waves are starting to overlap.

They say it's your peers that get you through grad school. I'm lucky to have a few mentors, too!

Desperation begins to set in...

2008-07-08T10:29:00.003-07:00

J: You can always change your middle name to be "doctor"

T: Tony Doctor Tang... I like how that rolls off the tongue

J: Maybe change your first name to be Doctor and your middle to be Tony -- then you will be Doctor Tony Tang!
J: No need to labor four years!

Cooked Through

2008-07-07T22:24:00.001-07:00

We LOVE BBQ at my house. One of the things I dislike the most about BBQing at home is that my mom always cuts up the meat, and inspects it to the nth degree, often sending it back to the BBQ to get some extra grilling time (multiple times over), and then at the end, ending up with a perhaps overly well-done piece of meat. I find this frustrating, because as the head BBQ cook, I like to feel like I know what I'm doing, and when the food is done.

As with all things with your parents, though, you end up finding that they were "right" -- at least in some way. For BBQing and making sure things were ridiculously cooked through, this happened for me yesterday.

Yesterday, C and I were charged with caring for C's baby cousins (9 and 11, so not really babies, but we took care of them for a year when they were around 1 and 3), and as part of the day, we had a hot dog and hamburger BBQ at the end of the day. Last night, with the heavy responsibility of taking care of these two kids hanging over my head, I realized there was absolutely no way they'd be allowed to eat an undercooked burger or hot dog. There would be no food poisoning under my watch. Un-tasty, overcooked, bland food? You bet, but no way Jose would there be uncooked meat going into those mouths! You can bet those pieces of meat were pretty much completely cooked through.

With each passing year, I get more and more like my parents. The funny thing is, it's not as scary or undesirable as it once was.

Maybe that's the scariest part.

Analogous Conversations

2008-06-30T02:05:00.001-07:00

Today at the eyeglass store:

Me: Hi, I was wondering if you guys had replacement clip-on shades for my glasses.

Girl: We don't carry clip-on shades. We only make prescription sun glasses.

Me: ...

Girl: We recommend prescription sun glasses because they are closer to the eye and therefore provide better protection from UV rays.

To me, this conversation was analogous to the following:

Me: Hi, I would like to spend $20.

Girl: We only allow you to spend $250+.

Me: ...

Girl: We recommend the $250+ solution.

(hypothetical) Me: Ring it up! Spending 10x of what I'd originally intended sounds like a great idea.

I guess she was hoping I'd go for the prescription sun glasses.

Fashion is Not My Forté, or How I narrowly avoided dressing across the boundary

2008-04-30T00:31:00.002-07:00

Anyone who knows me will tell you that, while I probably do not dress like a complete slob, I don't have much in the way for sense of style. I attribute this to a false sense of ability that I acquired when I was as young as three or four years old: I was recently informed by my mother that I regularly dressed myself in the morning before being picked up by the carpool for school. Apparently, my mom knew I looked like a dork, but was too tired being all pregnant with my brother to do anything about it. So that it's clear, I'm not complaining, I'm just saying.

This not having a sense of style tends to come bite me in the butt whenever my clothes start getting too faded, or my jeans start to spring holes in them. At some point, I end up having to buy some clothes, and this is always a challenge -- largely because I can't tell what looks good, and I really hate doing it. Typically, I will end up going with someone (i.e. Cheryl), that someone will pick out some stuff, and I'll say, "Nah, that's not my style", or, "Dude, that's WAAAY too expensive." -- and then the clothes get put back on the rack. Then, a few days later when I have apparently forgotten about the whole episode, that someone (i.e. Cheryl) or another someone (i.e. my mom) will just buy clothes on my behalf and stick it in my closet.

Four weeks ago, something different happened: I was packing to head to Rome when I discovered that my jeans were just in no condition to be worn. Uh-oh: this meant I needed to go buy some clothes. As these things go, I had to do it on my own, because there wasn't any time for Cheryl to go with me so that I could complain about her style choices for me. Everyone knew it was a dire situation. She gave me some simple advice: "Just buy the darkest jeans you can find. It's not the '80s anymore: stonewashed jeans are NOT IN."

Okay, no problem. I can do that, I thought.

I headed over to Old Navy. I like Old Navy: aside from being the right price range, their clothes are kind of the right level of blandness for me, AND they have these outstanding clearance racks where they sell stuff for ridiculous prices. When I happen to find myself in Old Navy, one of my favourite things to do is to go through this rack: there's literally nothing more exciting than seeing something that used to cost $40 marked down to like $5. I don't care what you say, that's an outstanding deal!

On this particular day, I headed straight to the regular jeans section, and picked up a few of the regular standbys that I like. I looked over and saw that so-called "fashion jeans" were on sale, too, so I flipped through those, and grabbed the darkest two pairs I could find. Pleased with myself, I headed over to the clearance rack in the men's section and really hunkered down. As per usual, the first few things on the rack were oversized XXXL shirts that basically make absolutely no sense to stock in Richmond, where it seems that at least 75% of the population is Asian (i.e. not large enough to wear XXXL shirts, typically -- although sometimes I worry that they will begin to fit one day, and I'll eat my words). A few t-shirts, nope, got enough of those, and then a-ha! A button up shirt. XL, but it looked like it fit. Excellent. Well not the size (see earlier comment), but an extra button-up shirt is always good. It had sort of a weird vertical stripe pattern on it, but an extra button-up shirt that... woah! $3.50!? Marked down from $34.99! Even better!

Quite pleased with myself, I headed to the change room.

"Five items," I said to the girl working the change rooms, gesturing at the four pairs of jeans and my shirt.

When I got into my little room, I was so excited about the shirt, I threw the jeans down on seat and took the shirt off the hanger. It came on sort of a weird hanger that I'd never seen before, and the buttons were a little shiny. Undeterred though (and thinking about the price), I threw it on. The sleeves were a bit tight.

Now, reflecting back on this, I can pinpoint this as the first moment that the fleeting thought, "Maybe this isn't a guy's shirt," crossed my mind. But, so overwhelmed was I with my cheapness that the thought immediately got quashed by the pride I would have at getting a shirt for 10% of its original price.

The next thing I noticed was that my hands didn't fit through the cuffs. "No problem," I thought, "I'll just adjust the cuffs here..." And so I did, but my wrists were comparatively huge on this shirt. Nevertheless, with both arms through the shirt, I looked at the mirror, and noticed that the pattern definitely had an odd pattern on it -- definitely not "masculine". It was around this time that I noticed that the shirt had sort of a weird seam just above my belly.

Reflecting back, I would say that at this point, some small part of me inside was yelling, "DUDE! THIS IS A GIRL'S SHIRT," but the more rational part of me responded, "Dude, you got no fashion sense. That, and this shirt was in the guy's clearance rack. Why would it be there?" I decided that if the buttons were wrong, then I was probably definitely wearing a girl's shirt.

I looked in the mirror. Everything looked okay. I hesitated, then reached down and felt where the buttons and holes where. WOah.

I whipped off that bad-boy. Or, bad-girl. Looked at the name on the back, and sure as the sun rises every morning, it said, "Tilly's Maternity Clothes." Woah.

The rest of that time in the dressing room was spent thinking about all the obvious warning signs that I'd apparently missed, but it really went by in a blur. I liked two jeans, didn't like the other two. As I was leaving the change room, I took care to roll the maternity shirt into the jeans I didn't want. After all, I didn't want to get laughed at for taking a women's shirt into the change room!

The lady said to me, "Find anything you like?"

"Oh, I liked these two," I replied.

"Just leave the clothes you don't like on the table there." Lazy, stupid guy that I was, I left the pile on the table.

In retrospect, this was probably not an advisable action. While on the surface, it seemed like the perfect getaway, I remember now that the table was actually bare, so my clothes were the only ones on the table. Second, she knew I went in with five items, and only left with two items! Third, the shirt was rolled into the jeans. Doh! How could I have been so stupid?! She put two and two together! She'll be laughing with her Old Navy change room friends at shift change! I'll be the laughing stock!

And then, I realized that she probably wouldn't notice that it was a girl's shirt, and then put it back on the clearance rack in the men's section because it'd been wrapped up in some men's jeans, and this whole tale would repeat itself for some other hapless fool...

Well, better him than me, I guess.

Good Riddance!

2008-04-01T17:26:00.006-07:00

I sent this to the HCI group at UBC today...

From: Tony Tang
Subject: Wouldn't it be nice...
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 10:08:21 -0700

Hi All --
As many of you already know, tomorrow will be my last day here at UBC. Going to CHI will be the last "HCI thing" I will do. The emotional toll of the PhD has become too overwhelming, and so I decided with my fiancee that quitting would be the right thing for my mental health. I already have a good career lined up as a musician for a advertising company though, so don't worry -- I'll be just fine. :)

As a gift back to IDRG for all of the time you spent with me thinking about my research, and your companionship, I'm offering to make a small little promo video for each of your research projects. As a sample, I've included a sound bite that I created for Leah's adaptive menus project.
I'll do this for each member of IDRG for free. Please accept it as my thanks.

Sincerely,
--tony

The attachment to the email appears above as an embedded mp3.

I was very touched (and felt pretty badly about) some of the emails that I got in response. The best one by far came from Garth, though, whose response was simple: "Good riddance!"

The problem with plumbing...

2008-03-03T13:39:00.001-08:00

...things can go so wrong so quickly.

- From KM via IM

London Day 7

2008-02-25T18:46:00.001-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 17, 2008

My last day in London started pretty early because I'd gone to bed very early the night before (I think around 8pm). I woke up around 5 or 6 and couldn't fall back asleep, so I watched movies in bed (with headphones, of course).

Something weird happened around 6:30, which actually happened the day before, too. At 6:30am - A.M. - one of our roommates, an older woman got up, and opened up all the windows. Opened them up by physically opening them to let the cold - COLD - freaking air in, and opened them up to allow sunshine to shine into the room. WTF! This was incredibly inconsiderate -- especially given that the rest of the people were still sleeping (and clearly intended to continue sleeping), and that she'd never asked anyone. >.< I was quite put off by the act, and it also clearly woke several of my other roommates up, but we were all too tired/lazy to do anything about it. So, another inconsiderate act goes unpunished and uncorrected. Lame. The funny thing is that I bet she thought she was helping us out by helping to wake our lazy butts up. What a load.

After checking out, I set onto the streets of London for the last time. I wandered through shops for most of the morning, ending up at the National Gallery again. After a while, I began to get hungry, and happened by a kebab shop right around that time. To this point, I'd thought that while a kebab might be nice, I wasn't going to be too impressed by a shish-kebab (meat on stick), since the food in London (in general) hadn't been too good. HOLY SMOKERS was I wrong. The kebab, it turns out, was more of what we call a shawarma, or a donair (not really sure what the distinction is exactly), and was amazing. Kind of a curry sort of a flavour, and undeniably awesome. Being lamb, too, also helped. ;-)

The trip to the airport was pretty interesting. The tube was partially broken/in service that day, so I needed to take a detour. The detour involved heading to a weird random station, and then taking the high speed train to the airport. I was pretty excited about this until I saw that the signage leading from the trains to the actual terminals were not nearly as good as the signage from the tube. Basically, the signs in the underground subway give you hints about which Heathrow Terminal you should go to based on your airline and destination. No such signs existed at the train station. So there I was, trying to decide whether to stay on the train to go to Terminal 4 (let's say), or to get off and try to get to Terminals 1-3. I decided to go with the latter since that would give me a 75% chance of getting it right (of course, I didn't print out my e-ticket since the Internet cafe didn't have a printer, and I didn't think to copy it down -- stupid me). As I'm walking, the train zips off, and then I see there's another decision point: Terminal 1 is left, Terminal 2 is right. What happened to Terminal 3?! Uh-oh. I turned left (Terminal 1), since that sounded like a good choice, and one that I would direct loser tourists to. After a 15 minute walk (during which time the only thing I could think was, "Do I have enough time to walk the other way to go to the other terminals if necessary?"), it turned out I'd guessed right. Hallelujah!

Things did not look good when I got onto the plane and tried to get to my (aisle) seat. To make a long story short, the fellow that I had to interact with was an elderly man who didn't speak much English, but did a good job of taking up a lot of room in the middle seat, and convinced the both of us that we'd have to sit next to each other through the entire trip. At take-off, it finally became clear that he was supposed to be at the window seat, but preferred to be close to the aisle for bathroom access. I acquiesced, and traded seats. This turned out to be my downfall, not because it limited my access to my hand luggage and the bathroom (though that was an unfortunate inconvenience), but because he ended up getting my lactose-free meals! The first time the flight attendant came with the lactose-free meal, he of course put it in front of the old man asking, "Special meal?" To which the man responded (of course), "Yes, food!" Being the quiet guy I am, I didn't raise a fuss. This turned out to be my undoing as my lactose-containing meal ended up making me extremely gassy for the rest of the trip, and later got me sick (though fortunately I was home by then). Moral of the story: try to be born with a large bladder and not have a lactose allergy.

The last great story of my trip was the events surrounding customs. Somehow, Customs Canada apparently gets no notice of when flights get in to Vancouver. Somehow, YVR doesn't communicate that -- even when seven international flights arrive at YVR at the same time. This ended up as a 2hr wait for Customs at YVR. It didn't help to see people cutting into the line at random places. "Welcome back home," indeed.

London Day 6

2008-02-24T08:52:00.004-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 16, 2008

I'm on my second last day here in London, so I won't spend time to write a report on today right now -- I'll save that for when I'm in the airport tomorrow...

Here are some snippets:
- free concert hall
- waiting in line
- missed theatre dilemna
- food that is hard to eat
- a good night's rest

---

Date: Feburary 18, 2008

So my 6th day in London isn't nearly as fresh on my mind any more. It would be interesting to try to figure this out from an hourly perspective given all the time zone changes and stuff, but suffice to say, it's a hazy mess now. It's a good thing I put down an outline. That always helps.

It was a bright, clear day out, but very windy and very cold as the day before. I knew it was my last day in London, so I wanted to make sure I got in time to enjoy the last few hours of my stay, and to see things I hadn't seen before. Each day in London, I kind of started the day near Trafalgar Square, Embankment and Leicester Square, because it was, as far as I could tell, the center of all things London. Lots of the theatres were centered around the area, it had lots of museums nearby, and of course, the place where I bought internet access from was nearby. ;-) As a consequence, I actually spent a lot of time killing time in the area, going to the National Gallery even for brief trips if I had to kill an hour or two. As you can imagine, it wasn't hard to find something interesting to look at inside!

My main goal for the day was to see the show with Jeff Goldblum and Kevin Spacey (pretty famous actors). I figured this should be a pretty manageable goal since I had nothing else to do. The thing I didn't figure into this equation was that it was a Saturday, and that I really should have considered how busy a weekend might be. The streets, which were already pretty busy on the regular weekday, were COMPLETELY PACKED. It was like nothing I've ever seen before in my life. Imagine the Richmond Night Market, but that rather than having all that human traffic focused in a small area that it was ALL OVER THE PLACE. Quite frankly, it was suffocating. It was so bad that I didn't actually want to go to try to get tickets, but I buckled down and headed to the ticket booths in Leicester square.

HOLY COW. The lines were waaay too long. None of them even said anything about the show either, which made me anxious: what if I waited in line, but when I got to the front was laughed out of the booth because they didn't sell tickets to that particular show?! I checked the time: I had two hours before the show. With that, I decided to walk to the theatre to get the ticket.

The walk was a pretty long one (a bit longer than I expected), but I did walk through Waterloo station, which is cool because it's featured in Bourne Ultimatum (a recent movie). I actually recognized large parts of it (given I'd just seen the movie), which was a plus -- I would have been pretty annoyed if I didn't recognize anything while being there physically.

When I got to the theatre, it turned out that the show was already sold out. I had to wait in "Refunds" line, which is the theatre's way of scamming even more money out of people: basically, if you can't make it to the show, you can return the ticket(s), but get charged some sort of fee. The theatre then turns and walks to the front of the theatre where they can sell it for full price to the rest of us chumps. Highly lame, but no one in our lineup was complaining! We all wanted in! Unfortunately, waiting for an hour didn't help -- the show started, and I didn't get in. Heck, I was still eighth in line when the show started. The line had shrunk by about four people or so while I was there. Moral of the story: buy tickets to theatre shows in advance -- especially if you plan on going on a Saturday. The real kicker of the story is that I actually had a chance to buy the tickets on Thursday (I'd checked in to see if any were available), but at the time I didn't buy them. I'm not even really sure why, which is what is so infuriating.

I spent some time at a random music hall (which was on the way back by foot). I sat there collecting my thoughts and writing some notes that had occurred to me over the past few days. While I was there, some random free concert started up! It was a piano recital of sorts, and the music wasn't very good, but while I was there, I was impressed with the space: a very large open area that was clearly free for everyone to be in, and to enjoy. Further, a free concert. How about that?

Heading into the evening, I figured I'd go back to the hostel and get a good night's rest. I knew the flight back (the next day) would be long, plus the flight didn't even start until 5pm, so it was going to be a long long day. While I wasn't particularly hungry, I decided that I should get some food. I hit up a Chinese street vendor (the only one I'd spotted the whole time I was there) that sold chinese buns and chinese donuts (long sticks of fried dough). While I was quite pleased with myself, the chinese donut turned out to be rather terrible. There's a saying in Cantonese that you use when food is really gross: "lahn sick." Literally, this translates "difficult to eat" or "hard to eat". And, quite literally, that described my experience with the chinese doughnut: rather than being crispy and soft, it was hard as a rock. Hard to eat.

I hit the sack early, trying to watch a bit of "When They Were Kings" before I fell asleep. I knew it was time to go to sleep when I kept drowsing off during the more boring bits. Jetlag finally caught up with me.

London Day 5

2008-02-22T07:15:00.002-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 15, 2008

Today was c-c-c-cold. I have no idea how cold, but it was cold to begin, and there was a lot of wind, which made it even colder. Of course, it was also today that I chose to take a long walking expedition, thereby getting the chance to experience it full-on.

I spent the day walking across and then along the south side of the Thames river. I probably wouldn't have done this except that my maps made it look like a much briefer walk than it ended up being. During my walk, I passed by several famous sites: Tate Modern Museum, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, Shakespeare's Globe Theatre, City Hall and also the Design museum (not really famous, but important for me). Across the water, I could see St. Peter's Cathedral (huge) and Towers of London (visited this last time).

My visit to the Tate Modern lasted about an hour and a half. This is about how long it takes to walk through the place when you don't really enjoy much of it. As it turns out, I'm really not a big fan of so-called "modern art"; however, I can appreciate some of the sentiment and thinking that goes into these pieces. For many of these newer pieces, the importance does not really lie in the accuracy of the depiction itself; instead, the value of the work often lies in the technique/method that was used combined with the philosophical underpinnings of the work. There is therefore a much deeper focus on societal and artistic context in which the work was created. The Tate Modern, because of its size and ability to show a broad range of works, is able to convey much of this context to the viewers. While I am still not an expert in art history, I feel as though walking through the museum gave me a greater appreciation for a lot of the more modern work.

I was touched a by a few of the so-called "minimalist" works. I was particularly attracted to the philosophy of these guys, "It is what it is, it is nothing more." I can appreciate that, because it means I'm not missing anything, and I don't have to feel too stupid.

One of the pieces that really caught my eye was by an artist who spent six weeks working as a chambermaid at a hotel. She documented what she saw in the rooms in a room-by-room fashion, making inferences about the absent occupants based on the room contents or layout. She also took pictures of what she saw. Kind of creepy, but I really appreciated the piece. Remember: it is what it is.

After spending time in that museum, I headed toward the Design Museum. I wasn't really sure what I'd see, but I have often thought that with my interest in interface design, I still do have an oblique interest in all things that are design. It turns out I was right -- most of the things in the museum were of interest to me except for the fashion area which I simply could not appreciate (I think this part of my brain is somehow deficient of brain cells). It was also here that I experienced the first real incident of a stranger helping me for no good reason whatsoever.

Upon arriving, I was dismayed to discover that there was a £8 admission fee. I was further dismayed to see that there was a £5.5 admission fee for students, but that I'd left my ID card at the hostel! DOH! I debated for about 5 minutes whether to actually head in: on the one hand, I had actually done a good job of saving money thusfar, and so didn't want to break that trend; on the other, I'd walked for so long in the cold to get here, and the thought of going back outside was not at the top of my list of "fun things to do". Ultimately, I decided to go in. What's £8 compared having to relay the story that I really am cheap? While I was waiting in line, a random guy came up to me and offered his ticket (he'd just come out, I think)! The stars have aligned! It was an unbelievable feeling. I haven't felt so much gratitude toward another in a long time! I must remember to repay this favour to another stranger. Actually, a part of me wonders whether I got this ticket because my giving a stranger a used parking ticket/pass back at UBC actually set off a chain of "kindness" events leading to yesterday. It's funny to think of those kind of things.

The next thing in the evening was to meet up with Spencer. In spite of all the things that has happened to this guy, it turned out he was in pretty good spirits. This was really good to see. We ate dinner at a Korean BBQ place (where they cooked the food for you rather than your cooking it yourself), and ended up wandering the streets for two to three hours afterwards. It was actually quite enjoyable. Spencer's a really funny guy -- sometimes it's hard to believe he's making this stuff on the spot, but I guess that's the mark of a clever guy.

It turns out, for example, that the place he's staying at was built in 1880. "Almost older than Canada," he proclaimed. Kind of hard to believe, but true. The houses are built as a whole block of houses attached together, which means that they rarely ever get torn down and rebuilt -- it would displace too many people, and coordinating that would be insane. One of the implications of this practice is that "hotels" are often just converted homes. Most are not the tall buildings that we typically see in North America -- they're just old houses that the hotel company bought. Thus, the old stuff in the center of the city really stays old, and is never replaced by anything newer. London has always built outward, but people keep coming into the centre, which means that housing prices continue to go up, and it gets even more expensive to live here.

People are really used to crowding in London. The underground tube gets insanely packed during the rush hour. It's much much worse than in Vancouver. People are quite literally pushed against the glass on the inside -- it looks like something you'd imagine in a comic book. Anyway, for this reason, it's not hard to imagine why it there were such hysterics for the London underground bombing thing. There's really no opportunity to get away from it even if you had advance notice -- the best you can hope is those other peons around you can absorb the blast on your behalf.

I'll leave with a funny story from Spencer. He relayed this story when I asked if he'd heard of any overt cases of racism. So a Vietnamese girl (Spencer's friend) goes to a store. She hears some snickering to her right and looks over. "Ni how ma! Ni how ma!" -- a couple of little kids are sneering, laughing and pointing at her. The punchline (aside from her being Vietnamese)? They were a bunch of little brown kids.

The world is a weird place.

London Day 4

2008-02-21T11:33:00.002-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 14, 2008

Today was a big day, because it has been the only day so far where I really had a plan of action. I went to two shows. Count'em: TWO! Woot woot. It was something I'd really looked forward to since my last visit here since I'd enjoyed the shows so much last time around.

It turns out that shows have a pretty long run at the theatres -- two of the three shows I saw last time (Avenue Q, Stomp) were still going strong (I imagine the third one (The Producers) has gone to the US somewhere and is touring). Some of the shows were into their third, fourth, and easily more years (though I don't remember which or for how long -- I just remember being surprised). Just to give you a sense, the tickets for these shows range from £20 to £60 (at least the kind I'm willing to buy) -- this translates in $40 - $120. While that may seem like a lot (still), one thing to note is that: (a) it is typically possible to get half price tickets to these shows (no idea why), and (b) since a decent meal is about £20, it's really not that expensive. Imagine being able to see these shows for the price of a meal at Boston Pizza -- suddenly, it's not really that expensive (especially compared to say the price of a Canucks ticket).

After scouring the review sites, I selected four or five shows I wanted to see. I bought tickets to two yesterday: The Importance of Being Earnest (comedy), and Cabaret (musical). Both were really good. Earnest was more of a language humour, so I really had to pay attention. I had to put on my "sophisticated hat" to try to understand some of the jokes, as well as my "universal translator hat" because sometimes it was difficult to understand what they were saying (since they were speaking so quickly). This show was really about old-time theatre, I think: medium amount of props, focus on dialogue and acting... It was clear which actors were really really good, and which were just starting out. It is a funny thing, but it really does fall along the age lines -- the older actors were far and away superior actors. It's difficult to describe why this is, but I'll give it a go: in comparison to the older actors, the younger guys just seem like they're yelling and going through the motions; the older actors really se em to be immersed in their character -- they really seem to be emoting, and have far greater range and control of how their voices and bodies are used.

Cabaret was more of a show, a production. Lots of lights, live band, but surprisingly, very little in the way of a set decorations or anything. There was lots of singing, but I think the thing I'll remember most is that there were nekkid people! Holy cow, I don't think anyone in the crowd was expecting it (me neither) -- there were lots of muted gasps and stifled laughter. It's good to know that even when I'm in one of the cultural epicentre of the world, people laugh at seeing pee-pees and hoo-hoos.

The hardest thing about this day was that loneliness really set in. I think it was in part due to the fact that it was Valentine's Day, so lots of people had flowers in hand, or a loved one in hand. The shows were filled with couples, or couples lined up to buy tickets together and so forth. I suppose the lack of meaningful conversation with another human being was also starting to get to me -- it's been about two days since I've had a conversation that lasted longer than an inquiry ("Can I get a samosa?") and a response ("That'll be £1.50.").

I broke down and bought internet access. At first, I had grand visions of sneaking around until I found an open wifi, or hacking into a network based on my brilliant password guessing skills. Heck, I would have even settled for a Starbucks, but as is always with these types of things -- Starbucks are seemingly plentiful and ubiquitous... right up until you start looking for one, and then they seem to be no where to be found. Anyway, I think I found a pretty reasonable deal: £10 for the next 5 days, so that's about £2 a day, or $4. The other nice thing is that they have lots of different locations ... unfortunately, I have no idea where these other locations are off the top of my head. I know they exist because I saw it on the map they have on the Internet; however, they didn't have a printer, and didn't have any maps to these other locations. The one that I started using was pretty good anyway though -- nice and central at Trafalgar Square. Incidentally, it turns out that the ability to get wifi access at McDonalds that we were all laughing about earlier last year is available in London. Of course, I didn't see that until after I'd paid for internet access. Next time.

Jet lag really set in today. My 2:30pm enjoyment of "The Importance of Being Earnest" was really hampered by my body's desire to be fast asleep, and so I acquiesced between Acts and napped while other people ate ice cream (seems to be the hip thing to do at these shows). That show ended around 5pm (very long!), and I only had 2h45 before Cabaret. I debated whether to try to find a public place to nap or to go back to the hostel to get some shut-eye. In the end, I picked hostel, and got about an hour and a half of decent Zzz's before heading out for Cabaret.

I found one street corner where a Chinese girl was selling some buns and things, so I bought a chicken bun. Not bad. £1 was the going price, so Jon, the $2 chicken bun you like at the dim sum place is about the same cost -- that bad boy has many other kinds of meat in it though. On the way home from Cabaret, I had a lamb samosa, and that was it for dinner, really. For some reason I didn't ever really feel hungry in the evening, so didn't really eat dinner. I don't have a good explanation for why this was, it just was.

When I got home, the fashion show party downstairs was in full swing. It seems as though the Baden Powell Scout House, which houses this hostel (not exactly sure of the relationship), whores itself out to these private groups. The fashion group was insane and there was much partying going on. I took some photos of the thing, but it doesn't nearly capture the chaos or the amount of alcohol that was being consumed. Really something. Fortunately, four or five floors really does a good job of deadening that racket -- we didn't hear a thing up in our room.

I've begun to get a funny feeling while staying here. It's not overt racism, but it's kind of like a clear unease around "The Orientals" such as me. The perception of "The Orientals" is clearly based on stereotypes. This is not simply directed toward people like me though, it's really everyone -- they view Germans in a certain way, the Turkish a certain way, the Persians a certain way, the French, and so on. The only thing I can brealy be sure of is that no one really goes out of one's way to talk to strangers that look different. How can they be so xenophobic when the "xenos" are already inside?

London Day 3

2008-02-20T10:22:00.005-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 13, 2008

Today was the first day I have had where I was truly "free". No commitments, no jobs, no assignments, nothing to do: instead, it could be all Tony, all the time. While that might sound like riveting television or a relative good time, I can tell you straight up that while it seems pretty good in the beginning, it gets pretty boring pretty fast -- especially when Tony is in a land where things are twice as expensive as he's used to.

The morning started auspiciously enough: full English breakfast -- four pieces of toast, a pooched egg, ham, sausage, roasted tomato, and beans. The beans I have always thought were a bit weird, but they're surprisingly easy to eat and pretty tasty in the morning. They add kind a pretty different, but tasty texture to the regular morning meal. I don't think it's something I'd start doing regularly at home, but there's really nothing wrong with them.

During breakfast, the owner of the bread and breakfast, Simon, brought me into the kitchen to show me how he made poached eggs. It turns out there's nothing fancy about it at all -- the trick is to be open to losing some parts of the egg. I thought the whole egg had to stay together, which turns out to have been fallacy. New knowledge always tickles my brain -- I can't wait to get home to pooch some more eggs.

With that, I started off into the London daylight-- some money in my pocket, and excitement in my heart. The first stop was Buckingham Palace: home of the queen, and on off-days, the place where they would be doing the Changing of the Guard. This, it turns out, is exactly what it sounds like -- the four guards at the front of the place swap spots with four new guys. The thing that makes it quite a spectacle is that it's accompanied with a lot of fanfare... literally. In addition to a marching band, there were "fans" watching the whole procession (I was one of them). The crowd was probably five or six people deep, and unfortunately, most of them were over 6', which means that it was difficult to see anything. I actually got there early enough to get a good spot, but I kept switching because it wasn't clear where they were going to show up, so in the end, I ended up with terrible viewing areas. If I go again, I'll know where to stand, but for now, I just have some bad pictures of other people's heads (in true London fashion, I held up my camera above my head to try to get a good camera shot, but ended up mostly getting pictures of the backs of people's heads), a vague memory of some marching band and guards with really big guns, and the thought that I should just watch this on TV.

This whole fiasco (including the waiting) lasted in the order of an hour, so with an hour wasted in the day, I started off again into the heart of London on foot. I traveled along the streets, checking out architecture, but rarely going into stores. Admittedly, the stores that I did go into were primarily the little food convenience stores to see what they sold for food, and how much it cost. These food convenience stores are extremely plentiful, but they're something we don't really have in Canada. Many are like just the sandwich and drink aisle of a 7-11, and a lot of them don't open past about 6pm or so (they're primarily for grabbing food on the go). Judging from how
many of these there are, I'm not sure that Londoners really sit down for many meals -- eating doesn't seem to be a big ritual for them.

Wandering the streets stated to get me kind of hungry, but I was antsy about paying £2.8 or £3.8 or £4.5 for a baguette with some meat and cheese when I wasn't sure that I'd even enjoy it. Just to give you a sense, it would be the equivalent of paying $5.60, $7.90 or $9.00 for one of these things. There were some Cornish pastries and meat pies that looked appetizing, but again, the cost seemed exhorbitant, and so deterred me somewhat. In the midst of my battle with hunger and cheapness, I suddenly found myself in the middle of Chinatown.

I have to say, the smell and sight of roasted duck, roasted pork and chicken were imcomparably intoxicating. After about five steps into Chinatown, I decided three things: (1) no matter how bad the Chinese food was, they probably couldn't mess up a roast duck, (2) I didn't really care how much that stuff cost, and (3) I had to eat something eventually! So I set out in Chinatown looking for some cheap eats! I settled on looking for places only with BBQ pork and roast duck visibly in the window -- this would allow me to weed out the "Chinese restaurants" catering only to Caucasian crowd, and were intended for the Chinese folks.

The meal of roast pork and BBQ pork ended up costing £4.8, which, for the comfort I felt afterwards, seemed well worth the price. It was an interesting thing being in a Chinese restaurant. For one, i could speak Cantonese, and I felt an immediate connection to these guys. For another... this will sound strange, but of course, the Chinese people don't have an English accent when speaking Cantonese. Those things came together to make me feel pretty comfortable in there. It's an interesting feeling to sort of feel "at home" when you're clearly
away. Very satisfying.

The rest of the day was also spent wandering around downtown. I ended up at the National Gallery again, and was again reminded of how cool it was to see art up close that I'd only seen in pictures before. It's definitely a cool feeling.

I spent the evening with Brad, who incidentally knew even less of London than I did. Jet lag kicked in around 4:30 and lasted about an hour and a half -- I could barely keep my eyes open. I fought through and made it to see Brad (for dinner). As we were wandering around, we saw a big commotion and hurried to see what was going on. It turns out that there was a big premiere for a movie, and some big names were going to the premiere. I'm told that Uma Thurman was in the mix, but the only picture I got was of someone's back who was wearing a red dress. I'll have to inspect it more closely later to see who it was.

Like at Buckingham Palace, the throngs of people were probably six people deep. It's kind of an interesting thing in London to see how differentiated the really really rich people are from the commoners. They really are THAT MUCH richer, and the commoners really do feel common next to them, but are really THAT EXCITED to see these people. The level of feverishness is kind of hard to describe. Perhaps it's just curiosity -- and the curiosity is fueled by two things: (1) there are so many OTHER people are looking upon the spectacle, and (2) there's just not enough room for everyone to see, creating the illusion (?) of demand.

Anyway, enough with trying to learn something in London. Tomorrow, I'm going to see a show.

London Day 2

2008-02-19T09:11:00.003-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 12, 2008

Well, today was the big talk, and it actually went pretty well. There were a lot of famous people there (well, in the HCI research circles, anyway), and it was fantastic finally meeting some of them. I have to say that sometimes it's kind of surprising to finally meet these people to see what they really look like. Often, they're nothing like what you imagined. Two of the guys, named Christian Heath and Paul Luff were nothing like I imagined. I thought they'd both be very stuffy English guys, but they turned out to be pretty gregarious guys with big personalities and big voices. I kind of met them before in Banff at a previous conference, but I guess maybe they were a bit jetlagged at the time - they didn't really say much to me that time.

Breakfast was a little uneventful -- I just ate eggs sausage and toast, and I took photos of those, but as I said, it was nothing really spectacular. Heading out into London in the morning was pretty interesting -- the crowds were extremely intense. I couldn't believe the number of people who were out and about, heading to work. It was already 9am, which is what made it very weird, because the place was still completely packed! As it turns out though, people head into work up until 10am or so.

The talk itself went okay, but not as well as I'd hoped. The jokes I built in were received with only titters from the crowd, and I stumbled at a few places. Nothing terrible though -- some of the folks around me told me I did a good job, which was good to hear. Getting a chance to hear the other talks was very good though, I really enjoyed some of them.

By the end of the day (around 4 or 5pm), I was feeling really really jetlaggy. My body was starting to sweat at unreasonable times, and I was pretty much completely pooped. I excused myself, and headed back home. Unfortunately, the fish and chips place I'd spotted earlier in the day (and had planned to go for dinner) was closed, so I doubled back to some random steakhouse. There, I ate the "mixed grill", which had a sausage, a not-so-tasty chicken steak-thing, a not-so-tasty beef steak, a big hunk of bacon, some fries, and three onion rings. The onion rings and sausage were the best part of the dinner -- the other bits were not really that tasty. I actually didn't finish it because the chicken and steak were so bland. :P

It turns out that there are a lot of little places that sell sandwiches and other pastries and stuff, and this is where people grab their lunches. I'm going to try that today.

By the time I got home, it was around 7 or 8pm, and I knew I needed to stay awake to battle some jetlag. I watched two movies (Bourne Ultimatum and Idiocracy) and stayed up until about midnight or so. I really wish I hadn't watched Idiocracy -- I felt much stupider after watching the movie.

Tomorrow is a big day out on the town. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but it will involve a lot of wandering around on foot!

--tony

Day 1 in London

2008-02-18T11:17:00.004-08:00

(This is a part of a 7-day series about my trip to London.)

Date: February 11, 2008

Well, Day 1 was pretty crazy -- it really just felt like a very very VERY long day.

I didn't sleep much on the plane, and instead watched two movies and worked a bit on my talk.

When I got in to London, it was around 2pm, and so I was wandering around in a daze trying to find my hotel. The thing about London is that there is very very poor street signage. Thus, it's hard to findout what street and intersection you're at. I did figure out a trick though -- most of the big buildings have an entire street address on a sign (e.g. 1010 Buckingham Palace Rd.) instead of just a number. That helped a bit, but I still twirled around for a while before finding this place.

London is a very busy place... always people walking around and going somewhere, always someone who's busy. Everywhere you look, it's people people people. It's also not very homogeneous -- everyone is SO different from the next. It's kind of hard to describe, but even
their clothes are different from one another. Everyone has their own sense of style and sort of goes about their business on their own.

That's one thing that's pretty interesting. In Canada we pride ourselves on multiculturalism, but it's peanuts compared to the number of different kinds of people there are here. For instance, when was the last time you saw a black person in Vancouver?! It's orders of magnitude different.

Another interesting thing I noticed was that they just put their garbage on the street. It stinks! I never noticed how useful those garbage bins we have are until now. It's interesting they put it on the streets -- they're not afraid of wild animals. I guess there aren't any wild animals maybe? I also haven't seen any pets now that I think about it. I guess the houses are too small? I will have to enquire about this.

Back to my day, so I got to the hotel around 4pm -- about 1hr after getting off the plane and out of the airport. I then fell asleep for 2 hours, and then it was off to dinner. We went to a pretty neat place -- Turkish food. This is a good choice if you are both lactose and gluten (wheat) intolerant, it turns out. We had a person in our party who was like that -- tragic, really. Anyway, the food was okay -- apparently, Turkish is synonymous with "lamb", so I had that. Not bad, but frankly, not enough for what we paid! For a group of 5 of us, it cost £120, which is around $240. Divided by 5, I guess that's like $60. At Hons, that could feed a family of four at least two times, if not three times. Heheh

After dinner, I came home, and it was around 11pm, and I worked on my talk until about 1am. I slept for a few hours, but got up a 6am because I couldn't sleep any more... Talk is today.

Hopefully goes well, then I can relax a bit in London here!

Cheers
--tony

7 Days in London

2008-02-18T11:10:00.002-08:00

I was recently asked to give a talk at Challenging Groupware: Emerging configurations for distributed interaction. This was pretty cool, though I admit the predominant thought I had when deciding whether to speak was, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak and remove all doubt."

In the end, I decided that it would be better to be a fool and to have gotten another chance to visit London, than to be thought of as a fool and not get to visit London.

I documented my trip in a series of 7 emails back to loved ones. I figured I may as well share them. They're probably not the most interesting bits I've ever posted to this blog, but this blog is for me too, right? :D

Insights into Grad School: Productive Procrastination

2008-02-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

Productive procrastination is the act of doing something that is ostensibly productive in the hopes of fooling oneself (and/or others) that one is actually doing something productive instead of just procrastinating from another activity.

Productive procrastination is extremely common in the grad student community (particularly PhD students), though I don't know if it is unique to grad students. Some great examples of this activity (I am guilty of all of these):

Browsing Lifehacker to get "tips and tricks [in order to get] things done" more efficiently
Carefully choosing fonts and slide designs instead of creating the actual slide presentation
Checking email, one's RSS feeds, the weather, and then the news obsessively

I think productive procrastination is common among grad students because, in my estimation, PhD programs seem to attract a certain type of person: someone who is probably somewhat competitive, and someone who doesn't like to fail. Since these people are competitive, they never want to seem to stop working -- lest others get ahead. PhD students get into a state where they're paralyzed by uncertainty, and don't (or can't) really do any productive work on their real thesis stuff -- the theory being that "if you didn't do anything, you didn't really fail."

The confluence of this circumstance with the competitive personality flaw (feature) results in extreme attention to seemingly meaningful things (but are ultimately utterly useless when it comes to trying to finish one's thesis): the grad student doesn't have to feel bad about doing nothing (and therefore "really" wasting time), but ultimately, s/he's really doing what s/he is just to not to do real thesis work (and therefore is procrastinating).

As an exercise to the reader, determine whether my writing this blog entry is an example of productive procrastination.

Hint: I have to give a presentation soon that's only half written.

Conferences

2008-02-01T22:44:00.000-08:00

My version of a conversation I recently had with K.

K: I registered for a logging conference at the Forestry building next month.

T (thinking): K has a variety of interests. She must have seen this while she was walking through the Forestry building one day.

T: Huh. Interesting.

K (apparently taken aback by the lack of enthusiasm): Yeah, it'll be great. Just outside my research area, but should be interesting.

T (thinking): I guess she's studying architects. Maybe logging resource planners work in the same sort of way.

T: I didn't know you were so interested in that stuff.

K: Of course I am! Blogging, social media, all that stuff..

T: Social media? ... Ooh! BLOGGING! You're going to a BLOGGING conference.

You can read K's interpretation of our conversation on her blog.

Insights into Grad Student Life: Working from Home

2008-01-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

Today, it snowed about 10-30cm. In Vancouver, this is enough to close schools.

T: I'll probably be "working from home" today then...

N: The only part of that that belongs in quotes is 'working'.

T: LOL... True.

T: Hey, I'm putting that up on my blog

N: Okay -- I'll only charge minimal royalties for it. Like a family discount.

T: Excellent. Per page-view, right?

N: Sure

T: Don't quit your day job!

Dictionary Reveals Latent Truths

2008-01-28T15:28:00.000-08:00

Today, the VP Academic/Provost gave our lab a visit. I didn't know what "provost" meant, so I looked it up in the dictionary. The third definition really caught my eye.

pro·vost (prō'vōst', -vəst, prŏv'əst)
n. (Abbr. Prov.)
A university administrator of high rank.
The highest official in certain cathedrals or collegiate churches.
The keeper of a prison.
The chief magistrate of certain Scottish cities.

Insight

2008-01-26T22:57:00.000-08:00

Love of My Life: I want to live a life I could write about and enjoy reading.

Me: How are you doing to this point?

LoML: It's a drag.

Be careful when fishing for compliments.

Entrepreneurial Thinking

2008-01-24T17:04:00.000-08:00

Me: SurveyMonkey.com solves all our [survey] problems

J: That's what we need ... a problem solver

Me: I need someone to do my research. That's what I need

J: Go to researchmonkey.com ;-)

Me: We need PhDMonkey.com

At first, I thought: "$1,000,000 idea!" Then I did a rudimentary market analysis:

target population demand = high (depressed phd students)
target population size = low (phd students)
overall demand = low (depressed phd students)

spending capacity of target population = low (graduate stipend)

market viability = laughably low

Nope. Better stick to my day job.

Ringing Endorsement of Grad School

2008-01-21T17:14:00.001-08:00

D: How far are you away from completion?

Me: Hahaha... Mmm... Hopefully another year or so?

D: Maybe I shouldn't have asked :-$

Me: Hahaha... "You know how it is"

D: That's not too bad. Hopefully you're starting to see the end of the tunnel.

Me: Yeah, though sometimes the end gets shrouded by what appears to be some bad weather.

D: Yeah, I know how THAT is.

D: I hate the vagaries of corporate life, but nothing compares to the constant existential dread of grad school.

Buying Bulk

2008-01-04T10:21:00.001-08:00

G1: You haven't had your period for three months?!

G2: Uh-huh.

G3: You should probably take a test to check (whether you're preggers).

G1 (helpfully): You can try First Response! I saw it on TV.

G3: At three months, I don't think you need "first" response. You can probably go with any old generic test.

G1: You could probably even go Kirkland brand!

G2: Isn't that Costco?!

G1: Yeah but you could save so much!

G3: If you're buying these things in bulk, you should probably step back and take a good look at yourself.

G2 nods thoughtfully.

Power Outage

2007-11-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

Today, the power went out in the building for about an hour.

K: The worst part was when the power came back. No excuses: we had to get back to work, we couldn't go home.

T: Hahahaha

K: It was like not studying for your test because the blizzard was coming... and then waking up, finding out that the blizzard missed the city, and that school was on.

How do you know we're Canadian, right?

Why You Should Use Video

2007-10-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

HCI researchers need to use videos more frequently to illustrate prototypes and concepts. An important part of doing research in HCI is communicating ideas to others in a way that they can use your ideas or your findings to further their own work. Writing and publishing journal articles is the conventional way of delivering this knowledge to a wider audience; however, in recent times, a conference paper has become an accepted means to convey knowledge in HCI--primarily because the research field moves so quickly. Yet a well-produced video can deliver the same message to an audience quicker, with more punch, in a more memorable way, and with less investment on the part of the audience researcher. It also acts as an archival mechanism, allowing "demos" of prototype systems to be shown long after the prototype has ceased to function. A video can perform all of these functions with ease--all it requires is the effort to create the video itself.

In this article, I cover the benefits of a good video for the audience and for the researcher. I use this to motivate a way of thinking about your video, and then provide directions on how to create and deliver a video for impact. Finally, I point to several examples of polished and unpolished videos -- all of which have had an impact on how I think about my own research.

Videos are good for the audience

It is a low-investment vehicle with potentially high payoff. An audience member is committed to viewing the video for only as long as the video lasts: thus, if a typical video length is 2min-5min long, then s/he only needs to invest 5 mins watching your video. This time commitment is orders of magnitude shorter than the amount of time s/he would need to commit to reading a paper about the same ideas. A well-produced video conveys the essence of the same ideas as a paper would (the paper expands on those ideas)--yet ultimately, what an audience remembers is the key points--the same points that should be delivered in the video. In sum, it is low-effort investment that pays off ultimately with the same ideas the audience would get if they read your paper.
It is easy to understand. Videos are usually easy to understand because the voice-over conveys the information in a conversational tone. When writing papers, it is easy to lose this conversational tone and get muddled in the details. Because videos tend to be brief, they generally get straight to the point -- thus, it is easier to grasp the essence of the idea, whether it is the problem space you are addressing, or the solution space you are presenting. When giving a talk or writing a paper, you ultimately write abstractly to cover a broad problem/solution space; yet with a video, you are forced to be concrete, be it to capture a specific instance of the problem, or a specific instance of the solution. This concreteness allows people to more easily see and identify with the problem/solution.
It can be viewed at any time. Videos have the advantage of being played at any time. They do not require the original author to provide a voice for the idea (as in a presentation). Thus, they can provide a complementary archival function of a paper about the same idea.
It can be replayed. In a talk, the audience usually cannot ask a speaker to pause, rewind, and repeat what was just said -- as a consequence, if you lose an audience at one point during your talk, you may have lost them for the rest of your talk. In contrast, a video can be rewound and replayed at the audience's convenience: if they don't understand what you said, or want to see the demo again, they can do so. As an audience, or "learner of the idea", this is a very powerful mechanism.

Videos are good for the researcher

It forces you to focus on what's important. Because your video is a one-sided conversation, it is important to convey the idea in a meaningful way. Like a good elevator pitch, creating a video forces you to be specific about what is important in the message or idea you are trying to convey. The video helps by making concrete the details that you leave out of your narration -- in so doing, it actually "says words" on your behalf! This means that your narration ends up focusing on the important ideas that you are trying to convey.
It forces you to be concise. Storyboarding your video forces you to be concise about what you want to say. Nothing is worse than a boring video -- it's less painful than a boring movie, but painful nonetheless. By making a video, it forces you to convey a small set of important points, therefore forcing you to be concise about what these points are, and how to communicate these points. Making a video is good for you, the researcher.
It provides you with an archive (a.k.a. you only need to make it work once). Staging a demo for visitors tends to be extremely stressful: demos frequently suffer from "demoitis" -- things that worked moments ago fail when you need to show someone right now. Sometimes, the only person that knows how to make the demo work isn't around, or even worse, code rots -- the longer since you last ran the demo, the less likely it will run right now. By producing a video, you only need to make the code work once. After you stop running code every day, futzing around with it, fixing bugs--always, all bets are off: there is a chance it may never work again. The video is like proof that it worked. Once.

How to think of a video

Understand there are different kinds of videos. Different kinds of videos need different kinds of treatment. Sometimes, the audience is a close familiar -- someone who understands the problem space or solution space, and you're just trying to convey a sketch of the idea. Other times, the audience is someone who is doing HCI, but isn't focused on the particular problem you are working on. Finally, sometimes videos are intended to be shown to funding sponsors, who barely even understand HCI. Like giving a lecture, you need to position your video differently depending on the audience. I suggest erring on the side of believing your audience is ignorant when making a video -- it forces you to be more explicit about vague concepts, and perhaps more importantly, could allow your video to be pitched to several audiences. (It has been my experience that once you make /one/ video, you are unlikely to go back and make another.)
Your video is an extended elevator pitch. In an elevator pitch, you get 30s to convey your idea. With a video, you have people's attention for 2-4mins. That's actually a lot of time, but you still need to use it wisely. You want to make sure that there's content to see or listen to, so don't waste them: the video acts as your proxy -- upon watching this video, someone will judge whether you are interesting or not. Don't waste that.
Your video is a prop to convey the idea... so convey the idea. Say it at the beginning, say it in the middle, and say it at the end. Don't forget to say the idea. Sometimes, you just use the video as a prop, where you actually watch the video with someone else, and narrate in person. This is a good idea too, but remember that a good video can stand on its own, so make sure the video still conveys the idea if you are not around to babysit it.

How to get started

Start shooting. There's no better way to get started making a video than to start shooting. You don't need anything more than a digital camera in its "video" function. Heck, you can just take photos and string them together--this technique is called "stop-motion" animation (my favourite stop-motion video). You'll learn what angles make best use of the video frame, and which ones can't even see the computer screen or interface.
Familiarize yourself with a simple tool. Upload your photos and movies to a simple tool, and start playing with that tool. I use Windows Movie Maker -- it's not powerful, but it is very easy to play with and to get things going quickly. You'll learn which features of that tool will help you to tell a story, and which are superfluous.
Make videos. Finally, make the videos! Put in the cuts, use the transitions, and everything under the sun. Save them as movies! You need to go through the entire process to tell understand how to tell a story with a video.
Show your videos to others, and watch them yourself. Finally, send your videos to others, and get their feedback on those videos. Get them to tell you what worked, and what didn't work. Ask them whether they understood the video, so you know how you need to change the story telling that you do. Don't forget to watch your videos yourself -- it is sometimes quite surprising what you learn from watching your own video.

Tips: in the order that I learned my lessons

Front load the information -- get to the point. This is important. If your video is over 5min long (even 4min long), it is probably too long.
Take the time to get the narration right. Make sure it's concise, to the point, and doesn't waste a listener's attention span. Nothing's worse than taking the time to make a video that no one watches.
Take the time to get the shots right. Position the camera, the people, the computers, and whatever props you are using to get the best shots that you can. Make each frame tell part of the story -- don't waste it, and take the time to get the shot right. If you start editing later and realize the shot is wrong, it takes a lot of effort to set up the system and lighting conditions again to get continuity. There's nothing worse than to tell an actor to bring the same clothes they were wearing that day so you can reshoot a shot.
Get multiple versions of the same shot -- from different angles, too. Take multiple versions of the same shot -- this will help you cut and crop for continuity. Get different angles on the same shot, too (just redo the scene with the camera in a different spot). Get 3x the amount of video you think you need for your video -- this will help you pick and choose later.
Use cuts and meaningful scene changes. Use the pauses and scene changes to move from topic to topic -- just as you would use a slide change in a real talk.
Use subtitles to underline a point. Subtitles are a powerful tool -- used sparingly, they can really convey the important, key concepts of a video.
Use background music. Use subtle music and turn the volume down -- background music can cover up some of the pops of a bad clip or narration.
Storyboard it if you have time. If you've got the time, do up a storyboard. But story-boarding is boring! Just grab a camera and start shooting!

Good videos: polished and unpolished

Nerf Email Notifier: Low production value, but an all-time favourite -- conveys everything you need to know in the first 10s... "Oh, I have mail."
Casual interaction in a hallway: Low production value, but is a great clipped video that shows you exactly what happens in the hallway
AmbientROOM: High production value, and demos a room that has a lot of cool features. Notice how they use cuts and zooms to focus your attention on certain aspects of the scene.
Tagged objects at Xerox PARC: High production value, and demos lot of interesting ideas.

Sharing the Joy: My NES Games

2007-10-15T01:05:00.001-07:00

My friend took out his old NES so that his kids could give it a try. Apparently, they were born long after the NES had gone out of style (i.e. after 1990). I offered to lend him some of my old NES games, but it wasn't until I got up on the stepladder, pulled out the shoebox of old Nintendo games, gagged on the dust that had accumulated on the box, and started cataloging the games themselves before I realized how much of my childhood was stored in that cardboard shoebox.

The box itself had about twenty games. I cataloged and sorted through these games, ordering them for my friend's kids, grouping them into different tiers (which games I really enjoyed, sort of enjoyed, and so on). As I did so, I remembered the game play of each game, and the challenges I faced in each game. I also remembered all the time spent doing monotonous things ( e.g. buying "health potions" in final fantasy), or trying to make one jump or another in a platform game... and of course, the ultimate triumphs of defeating various enemies.

It reminded me of all the times I'd woken up early to steal some time with the NES before cartoons started on Saturday morning, or how I'd hurry home after school to get in some Nintendo time before dinner time... And the games reminded me of the dark cold basement where the TV and Nintendo lived.

It reminded me of all the times I told my mom, "Wait, I'll come up after I finish this level," or all the times I left my game on pause while I was at school or overnight -- only to find the Nintendo off when I came back, and all my "hard work" erased.

I spent a lot of time with that Nintendo. As a family, we really invested a lot into that piece of hardware: both financially ($$$ for the games!), and in terms of time (my childhood!). Without question, the games I was passing on were an important part of my childhood -- if nothing else, because of the amount of time I sat in front of them. LOL...

It is funny to think about these game cartridges, and how much time was spent on each one -- in terms of the amount of total human-hours spent in front of the cartridge playing, or the developers, designers and testers -- how many human-hours they must have spent on the cartridge. What are those old Nintendo-game designers doing now? Are they all still making games? Have some of them moved on? And, perhaps more to the point, do they know how much happiness their game gave me?

I guess I'd saved the shoebox of games because I thought one day I might pull out the games again, and play them again... to experience the fun I had with them. The truth is that I hadn't pulled them out for over five years. When I gave my friend the box, I was really happy to know that these games, which had given me so much joy, would be giving some other kids some joy, too. I just hope they don't laugh too hard at the graphics.

"Productivity is Relative"

2007-10-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

My competitive nature has carried through to my grad school life: I only feel bad about not working on my thesis because I worry about others "getting ahead" and working on theirs.

Anyway, here's what I came up with to explain the rapid spread of "viral links" in the grad student community. The pseudo-mathness is for kicks. I have no idea if I used the words correctly.

Theorem 1: Productivity is relative.

Corollary 1: My productivity can be increased by slowing down those around me.

Corollary 2: My productivity can be measured by the extent to which others' productivity is inhibited.

A Summer of Volleyball

2007-09-22T01:53:00.000-07:00

So we finally did it: J and I won a tournament together, and we each won a volleyball.

It was a very successful summer season of volleyball -- in particular, R2-format volleyball. I think I am a total convert now. It actually feels like a completely different game -- while you are still basically playing volleyball, the reverse co-ed 2 format relies on a slightly different skill set. Most people say that R2s is a women's game because the net is set at women's height, and men can't jump (and attack) in front of the attack line. Ironically, I think R2s perfectly suits my game. I'm a big "ball control" kind of guy: the cornerstones of my game are passing and setting -- I'm not a strong hitter nor a strong hitter. Anyway, partnered with J, my monster female partner who finishes like a beast, we made a fairly formidable team. Upon reflection, I realised that we've actually had a remarkable run of luck. I've decided to write a little retrospective capture all of the tournaments I've played in the 2s format (basically, before I've played so many I can't remember them by themselves any more).

July 15, 2006: Gatorade Gulp (partner: Sharon -> Rose; level: B). Things got off to an inauspicious start: I was to play with Sharon (a girl I didn't know well), but she called me a couple days before the tournament to tell me that she'd sprained her ankle. I managed to bring in another friend (Rose), but the sad thing was that neither of us had actually played in the R2s format before. I have primarily three memories of that first tournament: (1) we got KILLED in the round robin -- even the team made up of the dad with his daughter took it to us... it was a tough morning; (2) Rhonda gave me tips even that day (where to stand when your teammate is serving), and (3) the sound of Rose's ankle when it broke as we were goofing around during the lunch break! What really sucked about Rose's ankle break was that it didn't even happen during a match! We were just goofing around during the lunch break. In the end, Rose's ankle was bad enough that we had to forfeit. I drove her home, and that was the end of the day. Pretty tragic.

Aug 26, 2006: The One After (partner: Jill; level: B). This tournament was the first time I played with Jill. We met at a "train & play" class down at the beach, I am pretty sure we both wanted to play with each other by the end of the class (most of the other players there were pretty weak). This tournament ended up being a lot of fun. Jill and I really got to know each other, and had a good time, doing reasonably well in the round robin. We ended up losing two straight in the tournament round, and the weird thing was that we'd seen beaten both of these teams during the round robin. Perhaps the funniest thing that happened was that we thought the last match was a best of three. We got down early, and I think we both thought we'd throw the set. Unfortunately, that ended up being the end of the match, and the day! I had a great time though, and ended up writing an entry about that day.

May - August, 2007: Tupper R2s League (partners: Jill, Lina, Joyce). Following a winter of playing fours and sixes, Jill and I signed up for the weekly R2s league. We had a blast, playing through the summer, both getting better with the experience. I found my hitting game, Jill hit like a monster (as usual), and we both learned how to play positionally. It was quite a learning experience, and the people we met were super friendly and always quite nice. As these things go though, Jill ended up not being able to play for some of the league days. I ended up playing with Lina a few times (which went really well -- I think this has something to do with both Lina and my being setters), and Joyce about four or five times. Both of these partners ended up being exactly what I wanted: capable players who gave me a chance to excel/learn, and hopefully vice versa.

June 16, 2007: Beaconsfield Swingers (partner: Jenny; level: B). The first tournament both Jill and I could play in was a swingers tournament! Ironically, it would be a tournament that we wouldn't even end up playing with each other except for one 15 minute stint. In this style of tournament, you play with all the members of the opposite sex (for a round robin) before getting paired with someone else to play in the actual tournament. I ended up getting paired with Jenny, and we got along quite well, though the tournament made me realise that even though I'd come a long way, I still had a long way to go. Jill and I ended up meeting in the tournament round, but only one of us could move on. I think she let my team win. :)

June 30, 2007: I am Canadian (partner: Jill; finish: 2nd; level: B; prizes: t-shirts and tiger balm patches). By the time this tournament came around, Jill and I had already played in the league for about a month and a half, so we'd already had a reasonable amount of experience and success with the R2s format. It shaped up to be a really good day: Jill and I won every game in the round robin except one. We worried for a while that we might end up getting bumped up a tier, but returned from lunch to find this was not going to be the case!

The tournament round also went extremely well, and we won the matches fairly handily heading up to the final. The great thing was that we could watch the two teams playing each other to decide which one we'd meet in the final, and we'd already beaten both. As we wandered over there, we caught sight of the prizes (new volleyballs!), and some fleeting thoughts of, "How cool would it be if I won a ball?!" As it turned out, there's a reason for those sayings, "Don't get ahead of yourself", or "One game at a time", or "We've got to focus on the game at hand." The best of three match went like this: we won the first set by a fairly huge margin. We got down in the second set by about 7 points (7-0) before playing, and ended up losing 25-23. In the third set, we were still very confident, but our play didn't match our ability. The other team stepped up, played an outstanding third set, and beat us. We didn't win the balls. It was a tough pill to swallow given how well we'd played through the day (and that we'd beaten this team twice during the day already); however, it was not all bad -- we got in on the prizing. We each won t-shirts!

The other thing I remember at this tournament was Rhonda again giving us more tips: basically, to learn how to hit cut shots, to tip with reckless abandon, and to serve short serves cross court. That first piece of advice would end up being something I would work really hard at until it became a part of my attack.

Jul 28: Impulse Energy (partner: Jon; level B -- mixed with A and AA). My brother and I had signed up for this tournament right at the beginning of the season. We recognized early that it would basically be the only time we'd get the chance to play together, so we signed up early. The neat thing about this tournament was that it would be played with the reverse rules (boys have to jump behind the attack line, net is at women's height), and so we thought we'd have a great chance. As it turned out, we'd of course never played together before in this format (we'd only each played with female partners), and so we ended up getting smoked in the round robin -- we lost every single game. It was a tough ride. The amazing thing was that my brother turned his game around during the tournament round: we ended up giving one strong team a really tough ride, and actually /beat/ another really strong team. Of course, we ended up bowing out before the final, but we had a really good time. It was a very memorable day, and I also wrote an entry specifically for that day.

Aug 5, 2007: Whistler (partner: Heather; level: B; finished: 2nd; prizing: t-shirt). Heather and I signed up for the Whistler tournament as soon as I knew Jill would be gone for August. It was a really really hot day. Heather and I walked through our first three or four matches without any difficulty, except that Heather started to look kind of funny in the last match... her heart was racing, she wasn't feeling well, and her palms were cold. It was very weird, and I think she was suffering from heat stroke or something. She took a rest, and we forfeited the rest of the matches in the round robin. After lunch, she seemed to be doing much better, and was her energetic self once again. We made our way through the tournament round, and did very well heading into the final -- I don't think we dropped a set, nor let anyone get closer than 20 points. Well, this was the story as we headed into the final. We watched our friends playing in the semi-final (the winner of which we would be playing in the final), and one of them (Becky) appeared to sprain her ankle! Fortunately, she turned out to be okay, but the near-sprain was the turning point of the game, and they ended up losing.

As Heather and I lined up to play the final, I saw that we'd already beaten the other team twice (fairly handily), so I wasn't too worried. I remembered my earlier loss, and was determined to stay focused. I think, though, that I was too dehydrated -- I hadn't taken care to drink water straight through to the later part of the day (I'd run out), and I wasn't even sweating much any more (I think I was low on bodily fluid, basically). I was also very nervous... I couldn't control my pulse. And I was really tired -- mentally and physically. Heather and I dropped the first set without even putting up much of a fight. We came back in the second and won (just barely), but then ended up losing in the third set. It was tough, because I really felt we were a stronger team, but unfortunately, we just didn't play well. We choked! For me, it was "Again!" The loss made me doubt the aspect of my game for a long time, though my performance made me happy because I came to see that I'd already reached another "level" in my game. I was considerably better now than at the beginning of the year: I'd begun to learn how and when to use the cut shot, and I was beginning to better understand the defensive positioning aspect of the game.

Aug 18, 2007: Confederation Park (partner: Mandy; level A/B; finished: 1st; prizing: bunnyhug/hoody & water bottle). When I found out Jill would be away for August, I really saw August as the chance to try playing with some other partners. I signed up for Whistler with Heather, and I had tapped Mandy (whom I'd never played with) to play in this tournament probably a month earlier. Mandy, it turned out, had never played R2s before, but I'd played against her enough to know that she was a smart player with very sound fundamentals. Given my experience at Whistler, I asked to be bumped up to the 'A' level, and was confident that we would do well, even though Mandy had never had experience with R2. As it turns out, this confidence was misplaced: we lost EVERY SINGLE MATCH in the round robin, except the one against our friends (who had also done the inadvisable, and signed up for 'A' level). We ended up getting bumped down to the 'B' pool for the tournament, which ended up going really well for us. We won! I actually don't remember much about the day, except that it was interesting trying to develop chemistry with a brand new player -- both in the sense that she'd never played the format before, and in the sense that I'd never played with her before! We ended up having a very good time, and gained a healthy appreciation for each other's game.

Thinking back, there is something funny that happened though... Someone said to me, when we'd reached the final, "Hey, you can lose now! You're already into the prizing!" That was true, actually. And it was weird, but I did, for a moment, think that it would be okay... after all, I was a choker, right? But then I dug in deep, and battled into the final. Amazingly, I was finally rewarded with a first place finish. Ironically, it wasn't with my regular partner, or indeed with even a regular R2s player. I think that says a lot about my partner.

My partner made one insight that I'd never realised before this game. She said to me, "You gave up before the ball even hit the ground!" I thought for a while that it was because I was so experienced, I knew which balls I could get, and which I couldn't get. As time went on after this tournament though, I realised that I was indeed allowing balls to hit the ground when if I gave it a second effort, I could get a touch on it. I used that saying as motivation to play harder in the next tournaments I played afterwards. I think that really changed my game.

Sept 9: Nibbles & Bites (partner: Jill; level A - bronze; finished: 1st; prizing: volleyball and t-shirt). Jill got back from her trip about a week before. I headed into this tournament somewhat resigned, as I was sure that all the effort we'd put in before her one month trip would be somewhat put to waste -- not only would she be probably somewhat out of game shape, we wouldn't have the chemistry heading into the tournament. As it turns out, we ended up doing quite reasonably well in the morning round robin (maybe going 2-3 or 3-3). Even though we had a losing record, we played quite well in every one of the matches. Everything was going really well: I was serving well (i.e. getting a lot of "free" points), I was hitting my cut shots well, and Jill was pounding the ball as usual. Heading into the afternoon tournament session, we were pretty happy with our play, but I have to admit that I was still somewhat resigned. Actually, that is probably not the best word. Really, I was just focused on "the next game." I didn't look ahead to see who we would play next, or who we might play next, or even count how many games we needed to win. I just focused, with blinders, basically, on the game at hand. I think this helped a lot.

The toughest match we played in the early round was the third round match. The team we were playing with was a really talented team, and we'd actually probably played them three times before, losing fairly quickly all three times. This time though, we focused really hard, gave them a tough time on serves and I worked hard to mix up my hits, using my cut shots for a long time to make them cheat to the outside, and then later blasting it down the 6 hole for some easier points. That game was probably the best match I've played in my entire life. The final was not quite as challenging from a skill perspective; however, I had to work really hard to stay mentally focused (i.e. not to give up), and to continue battling, even though I was completely exhausted before the match had even begun.

In the end, Jill and I won. It was the biggest victory of my life. Seriously. Winning at this tournament meant that the hard work we'd put into our game had finally paid off. On top of that, being cheap (i.e. not buying a ball) paid off. That victory felt really, really good. As I went home, I remembered the words of my buddy Tony: "When you get an A+, it's the best feeling. It's miles better than an A. With an A+, you never wonder, 'I wonder what I could have done better.' You know you did everything you had to do." And that was the exact same feeling I had after winning this tournament. I didn't think again about any mistakes I'd made, nor did I wonder what I could have done differently. I just enjoyed the victory. :)

Interestingly, Rhonda made another appearance at this match. It was really rewarding what she said, "I'm so proud of you guys! You made it to the final! You must have worked hard." And it was true. We had worked hard for the summer.

What did I learn through this past season? I think I learned a lot of important volleyball, and maybe even life lessons. I don't mean to get too deep or reflective about this, but I suppose I am allowed to do that given that it's 1:30 in the morning.

You can't dislike anyone. When a community is as small as the volleyball community in Vancouver (it's big, but in a lot of ways, it's still small), you can't ever get away with actively disliking someone. Invariably, you'll end up going out to play some ball with someone you don't know too well, and the person you dislike will be among the five or six people that agreed to go out and play that day. It's just too small a community to dislike anyone, and usually it turns out everyone is quite a reasonable person when you're on the same team. I think this is the same thing in professional life. You can't make enemies -- you certainly can't make too many. Word gets out.
Getting down on your teammate rarely helps. On small teams as you might find in R2s, it's really not worth getting down on your partner. At least with the partners I've played with (and myself), most people don't play too well under extreme pressure. You always have to stay positive -- this makes things easy for people around you to play well, and to not second guess themselves. I haven't always been able to do this, but I've usually been "okay" at it. It's something I have to work at myself.
"You gave up before the ball even hit the ground!" This was one of the biggest lessons I learned about my volleyball game, but I think it's really also a life lesson. Even when all appears to be lost, you have to keep trying. Suppose the ball has a 99% chance of hitting the ground, and that even if you made a second effort, it would still probably hit the ball 98% of the time. You have to make the second effort, because 1% of the time your team would still have had a chance to win the point. If you don't make the effort, then your team is guaranteed to have lost the point. Even when all is lost, you don't lose anything for giving it that second effort.
"Hit short serves cross court, and hit cut shots because they're almost always available." It's unbelievable how true this piece of advice from Rhonda was. The cut shots almost always work well to get the point, because they're so nasty to dig up. As I learned how to hit these types of shots, I came to see that it was these same hits that I would usually give up on (see point 3). It was amazing to see how many points we could get basically "for free" with these kinds of shots -- it just required maintaining control of the ball. The great thing is that it wouldn't expend that much energy, too. The cross court short serves also work really well... Rhonda's advice was that this was because it was difficult to see for the cross-court person, even though the line person could see. This also turns out to be true for Jill and me: we often let the short cross ones go, even though the line person can see it.
Be nice to noobies -- they will remember it. Thinking back, I came to see that Rhonda really helped my game, and made me a better player just by dropping a tip here and there. It's kind of an amazing thing. I doubt she knows she's had such a big impact on my volleyball game, but she really has. When someone you look up to (because of their play) is super nice to you, it really means the world.
"Stay in control of your body." This was a piece of advice I got from a guy who is the embodiment of the term "grizzled vet." He totally looks the part, and he too is also very nice. This advice is something I think about all the time. Volleyball is not about flailing about, hoping and praying -- it's a game of control. While I was good at ball control when I came into the summer, I learned about bodily control as the summer wore on. This takes experience, probably, but it also just comes with trying to mentally slow the game down, and thinking about what you're doing -- even when things around you are happening at a blazing pace.
"Line up with your hitter, angle your body inwards so you only have one direction to go." This piece of advice (from Billy) refers to when one is defending against the line hitter. Essentially, if you position yourself poorly, there are two possible directions to go. If you position yourself so that there's only one possible direction to go, then you can react faster in that direction, and move to contact the ball easier. Again, sounds a lot like "life advice," doesn't it?
You don't have to be the best team -- you just have to beat everyone on one day. After the losses that my teams suffered in the finals (I don't meant to sound presumptuous here, but I really though my team was the better team) plus the final win Jill and I had at N&B, I came to see that volleyball, as with a lot of things in life, is a one-shot thing. Because it's a one-shot thing, it means that you don't have to be the best team to win. You just have to be the team that plays better than the other teams for one day. This means you just have to play better than each team on a day where each team may not be playing that well themselves. Again, sounds a lot like a life lesson, huh? Even when it looks like everyone else is better than you, it doesn't hurt to give it a try -- they could all be having bad days, and you could have a great one!

The summer volleyball season was a blast. Thanks to everyone that made it so wonderful.

On Volleyball Partnership Dyanmics...

2007-08-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

When it comes to selecting a partner in volleyball, a lot of things come into play, because while it may seem like a trivial thing, the volleyball partnership is a lot like a real relationship. Success on the court seems to depend not only on your individual skill, but also on developing a strong understanding of the other person's abilities and tendencies (technical and mental/emotional), and then being able to complement that. You end up playing together, eating together, talking to each other a lot, cheering each other up... The funny thing is that it's not something you can just have on the court, I've discovered; instead, you have to really nurture this thing outside of the court too, because you have to develop a real closeness and trust with one another to be able to play with each other effectively.

The on-court thing is probably analogous to any other "team" sport -- especially in team sports where the team is very small (i.e. I imagine it would be the same for doubles tennis or badminton): learning to play with someone else means understanding and trusting to play with the other person. That means developing strengths around their weaknesses, and learning to read each other on the court to guess what the other person is thinking. Again, this is not just an individual skill thing (although of course, that certainly helps); to really have success together, you need to develop a synergy where you're kind of in each others' heads. When you watch the really strong teams, I'm amazed by just how well they kind of "sync" with each other.

I've discovered that this extends beyond just the "play" aspect of the game, though. There's an emotional/mental part of the relationship that needs to be developed, too, and this, the more intangible aspect of the partnership, is actually quite tricky. The emotional ups and downs of a side-out sport (one where one team gets a point for every play) can be pretty immense: it's easy to get really high, or really low. Furthermore, in a partnership, you are literally touching the ball (i.e. influencing the play) half the time, which means you have a strong impact on the flow f the game. Some people play really well pumped up, others play well when they're low-key. Others get frustrated, some throw tantrums, even others start yelling at the other team... I'm not going to judge, but let's just say that your own demeanor on the court is often best served when you agree with how your teammate reacts and/or when your teammate understand how your emotions work. The funny thing is that sometimes, you'll get teammates put together that seem like they'll play well together (based on skill or whatever), but end up not working well together because they can't seem to sync at an emotional level. It's the deepness of this emotional aspect of the game, I think, that engenders the trust that you develop in one another -- not unlike in a real relationship (except that "the game" is replaced with "life").

Recent events have made me realize just how similar this partnership thing is to a real relationship, but instead of showing you how insecure I am, I'll couch them as lessons in partnership dynamics.

Do not recruit (or appear to be recruiting) in front of your partner. This is a definite no-no. I would say it is tantamount to ogling members of the opposite sex while on a date. I don't care about what people saying about the legitimacy of "Looking at the menu/not sampling" -- you should only look at the menu when the dish you're having is not around. Same goes for volleyball partners. Not only is it rude, but it gives them reason to engage in jealous rage.
Do bad mouth those who are actively trying to recruit your partner. After all, they are trying to steal your partner! All that trust, time, and emotional investment is being stolen away from you! They must be either evil or sociopaths. Okay, maybe that's the jealousy talking. Hahaha! (I'm just kidding, I've never bad-mouthed anyone.)
Do have a good alibi if you are playing with someone else. If you are playing with someone else, you'll actually probably feel kind of guilty. And you won't want to be found out. The reason you'll be feeling guilty is because it's not like cheating on your partner... no, you are actually cheating on your partner (no wonder). You'll want to have a good alibi, and someone else to corroborate your story. Non-volleyball people are good for this. The thing is, you'll want to make sure you don't get caught. I imagine the fall-out from going to a tournament where you were cheating on your partner, only to find your partner there cheating on you would be pretty huge.
You are allowed to play with other partners if your partner is unavailable or otherwise away. Ah yes... the ol', "Would you want me to remarry?" thing. I think this is the only situation where you are allowed to play with someone else without feeling too guilty. Your partner going on vacation (and leaving you behind) is the time you can go hog-wild and play with anyone else in range (somewhat legitimately). And, while this will be great in the beginning (and perhaps somewhat dangerous), you'll end up realising why you picked your partner in the beginning: these people don't quite adequately fill the hole left in your game. In the end, you will often end up with a stronger appreciation of your partner.
"Swinger tournaments" are named "swinger tournaments" for a reason. I thought the name of the tournament early this season was pretty funny, but the more I play, the more I realise that it really was like swinging (not that I would know exactly what swinging is like, but I can sort of imagine). It really was like swinging! It was the one setting where you could play with everyone else while keeping an eye on your partner! LOL!

One thing I am curious is how I will feel about this stuff in a few years when I am "older" (in the volleyball sense). The thing right now is that while I can attract certain types of players (usually younger players with strong basic but without experience), at some point, they will realise they can do better than me. I will probably want to let them go (kind of like the saying, "If you love them, set them free...", but less cheesy), thus, I will probably change partners many times in my life. Maybe my feelings on these "partnership dynamics" will change.

Regardless, these "partnership dynamics" are an amusing source of conversation for me. I really think the trust aspect plays a big part in one's feeling guilt or jealousy or whatever, because you really do feel them. That said, the great thing is that we all realise that it's not a real relationship, so while you can feel these feelings, most people can laugh about it too. I don't think anyone takes it too seriously. ;-)

For now though, my (volleyball) partner is still on vacation. I can still "whore" myself out (in a volleyball sense!) for another two weeks! I shouldn't be wasting my time on here! ;-)

It's not the big stuff. It's the small stuff.

2007-08-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

I once read somewhere that as a relationship gets older, it's a lot about comfort and appreciating the other person. If getting old is the goal, then C and I took a huge step last night: she offered to call the cell phone dealers to see if she could wrangle me a hot cell phone deal. That's right. She offered to call on my behalf. At this rate, we'll be geezers before we hit 30.

In the grand scheme of things, this is a small thing. But at the end of the day, I think it is the sum of all the little things you do for one another that makes it all worthwhile.

My Brother Jon

2007-07-29T00:33:00.000-07:00

Years ago, when I was writing the acknowledgments for my MSc thesis, I wrote this about my brother Jon:

Lastly, to my brother Jonathan, you personify effort and passion. When I am down the most, I think of you, the first and the last player to dive for every ball on the volleyball court. It fills me with pride to be able to say that you are my brother—the best anyone could ask for.

When I wrote this, I admit that it was something that I came up with off the top of my head... I could have probably done a better job if I'd sat down to think about it, but actually, when I look back, I'm quite happy with what I wrote: it really reflects what I think about my brother -- even if it doesn't really make sense (why would it be any good to be the last guy to dive for the ball on the court?). And while that was written a few years ago, Jon really blew me away today: he showed me how to make a play in a clutch situation -- to be a better player, to be a better person. In doing so, he inspired me to personal greatness.

Today we played at TFC's "The One Before Whistler" tournament, playing in the Reverse M2 format. We had high hopes for the tournament, having played the reverse mixed format for the most of the summer and having signed in at the B pool level; however, these hopes were quickly dashed when we showed up: I quickly recognised many teams who were clearly at least A if not AA level. To make matters worse, we were seeded in the A pool as "A1". This made us something of a target.

In the morning round robin, we went a solid 0-6. As far as disappointments go, this one really ranks up there. Some of the plays were so terrible, I couldn't believe I was playing with Jon. I was so disappointed with our play that I more or less conceded the tournament by driving us to McDonald's for lunch (instead of say Subway).

After the short lunch break, we stepped back onto the court to play in the tournament round, and it was like I was playing with a different player: Jon stepped up in a way I've never seen anyone in real life. He was making huge digs, making huge sets, and getting huge hits. Perhaps more importantly, he was doing it when the game was on the line: to stop the other team's comeback run, or when we made a mis-hit, and the stronger hitter was hitting, and when the game was tied at 24-24 with one point to go.

We wouldn't go on to win the tournament, we didn't even make it to the semi-final, but the way Jon played inspired ME to greatness -- not earth-shattering greatness, but personal greatness. When he played the way he did, running after loose balls, or making impossibly crazy digs, he dragged my play up with him. I made plays I'd never thought were possible: hitting winning husband-and-wife shots, or hitting two balls deep into corners for the points, or getting the short cuts... Playing with Jon today made me a better player.

Earlier today, when my mom asked us at lunch whether she should take photos, I told her, "Don't bother, this isn't something I want to remember."

Perhaps hearing that fired Jon up, because he turned it into a day that I'll always remember.

Last Night at Grass Volleyball

2007-07-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

Me: Those tennis guys have it all figured out. This is exactly what our sport needs: ball boys and ball girls!

J: Yeah! Like... Hey Johnny, go grab that ball...

T: That's why I had kids. Only two more years before the first one is ready.

Chinese Food is Tasty

2007-06-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

But, as C's cousin pointed out last night:

M: Chinese food isn't very user friendly.

That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. Alas, I wasn't with an HCI crowd, so no one else could appreciate it. I need a crowd of Chinese HCI peeps to hang with so we can all laugh raucously about things like this.

Guy Advice

2007-06-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

Maybe this is why we're not getting anywhere.

Friend: Have you ever sent an email to C where you think afterwards, "Oops, that was probably a bad idea"?

Me: Story of my life, man.
Me: Now I just avoid sending emails

Friend: What's the best way to handle it?

Me: I usually make a phone call
Me: If it is just weird and ambiguous, i send a quick reply email.
Me: You know like, "oops, i meant blah blah... hahaa"

Friend: Ok. I did the latter

<snip incriminating details>

Me: It is also good to point out that you made a mistake
Me: Girls love that
Me: i am wrong a LOT
Me: :-\

Friend: Me too
Friend: Which is weird to me, because in everything other than girls, it's not so much the case.
Friend: So really, i think it's them that's wrong... but i never tell them that

Me: Yeah. Admitting fault is not the same as actually being at fault

...I'm definitely lucky to be with C.

Office Productivity

2007-06-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

Tony: I wasn't too productive yesterday. Too much youtubin'...
M: Hahah... no doubt. I bet that thing has killed office productivity worldwide. Except china, i bet they dont allow youtube into the country
T: Hahaha!
T: Somewhere in youtube central, they keep track of how much they are killing productivity
T: It must be great.. "20000000 hours killed today! target: 30000000 hours. keep it up, boys!"
<T changes name to: T - Youtube: Killing productivity in 5 minute increments>
M: Hahaha... it is surpassing msn messenger for #1
M: I bet someone has a list somewhere
M: http://www.pcworld.com/printable/article/id,128122/printable.html
M: youtube, #1 baby~~
M: I'm suprised facebook didn't make it on
T: You'd expect myspace to be there, too
T: The guy writing the article must be older than 20 then

The irony, of course, is that we were wasting time on IM to engage in this conversation.

Well-trained

2007-05-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Me: So, let me get this straight: when we're talking about our future, if it's something you like and want, then it's not up for debate, but if it's something you don't like or want, then it's up for debate?

C (mostly to herself): Ah... like a perfectly trained lap dog.

M: Hey!

C: Did I say that or think that?

The Little Man Inside

2007-05-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

C: Do you think we're at a point in our relationship where you would do anything I wanted, or only to the degree you thought was reasonable?

Me: I don't think I should answer that on the basis that I may inadvertantly incriminate myself.

C: Whatever... don't be a wuss -- answer the question.

M: You know that little voice of reason inside you that whispers to you not to touch the stove when it's on? Right now, the little man inside is yelling with all his might, waving flags, and sounding the alarm.

A life of meaning

2007-04-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

The one skill I've learned and continue to learn in grad school is how to solve problems. The problem with having been in grad school as long as I have is that when you start to become unhappy, your brain starts thinking about how to solve this problem, and you begin to realize that you do have choices. To a large extent, it is this realization that there are choices that further contributes to feeling unhappy.

I've developed my problem solving skills in a very particular context (addressing interface problems and usability issues), yet I think there's something structurally different about how my brain works now. When I see something, I think about the problems it has, and then my brain starts churning out possible solutions by relaxing various constraints. My brain is surprisingly adept at this -- possibly a consequence of always trying to find shortcuts in my earlier years. In this sense, I'm very good at free association -- I really think I'd be Freud's wet dream.

Without question, there are lulls during a PhD. Often during these lulls, you start to get unhappy, because, as we've discussed before, your progress slows. During my most recent spells in these lulls, I've thought a lot about how to make myself happy. What structural life changes could I make that would make me happy? A common thought during these times is to get a job instead of continuing this endless, (sometimes seemingly) mindless research work. Invariably, this makes me consider whether money makes me happy. I've never actually been convinced one way or another.

What is it about the PhD? Is it the work? Is it the lack of money? Is it the self-doubt, self-loathing... the endless need to question the work that is done, both by others and by oneself? That last question doesn't even address what happens when you come to the tentative conclusion that all that you've done is bunk.

I am reassured by a conversation my friend once had with a well-known researcher in the field.

Student: Whenever I publish, I feel a little bit like a fraud. I'm always afraid of being found out.
Famous Researcher: That feeling never goes away. I'm always afraid of being found out, too.

Wait. Is that reassuring? Somehow, that reeks of tell-tale heart, doesn't it?

Is continuing the best thing to do? Is this the best place to be? Did we just give up somewhere along the way and settle? Or did we decide not to sell out to the man? Did others really sell out?

Funny how Linderman was right. Maybe Machiavellianism, in its simplicity, is less about detachment and cynicism, and more a matter of emotional survival that frees us from self-doubt.

Theories about Grad Student Poverty

2007-03-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

Note: This entry slightly longer, reflecting the deep thought that has gone into it.

As a grad student, I've often thought about why we get paid the peanuts that we do (sponsors: please read that as, "Thank you for the bountiful funding, grant masters. I am forever greatful."). A fairly substantial national scholarship in Canada is worth $21k. Not too shabby, but also not too great. To put this in perspective, that comes out to be around $10/hour over a 2080 hour/year (2080 hours/year = 40 hours/week x 52 weeks). Under any model, that's pretty pathetic -- especially given a starting salary for a BSc in computer science is around $40k-$50k.

In my discussions with other impoverished grad students, I've come up with four possible theories about why grad students get paid so little: getting paid for hours worked, getting paid by value to society, paying your dues, and cognitive dissonance as a student retention policy. Of these, I prefer the last, but I suspect the real reason may be one of the first three.

1. Paying by the Hour
One possibility is that assuming the standard 40 hour/week model is overestimating the time that grad students actually work on research. For example, if we assume that students only work for 1/4 of that time (as illustrated in the figure above), then that only works out to be about 10 hours/week, which ends up being about $40/hour: not actually that bad. Succinctly: "You're getting paid for how much you actually work."

2. Paid by Value to Society

Another possibility is to interpret one's pay as society's estimate of your work's value to society. The amount you get paid is "market value" for a person of your calibre doing the work that you are doing. Put more succinctly, "You're getting paid for what you're worth." Now these estimates are often right out of whack with reality (e.g. Basic Instinct 2, which had a budget for $70mil, but ended up only getting $5.8mil in gross domestic ticket sales), but it's probably fair to say most grad students' work is not worth much (I put my own stuff in that pile).

3. Paying Your Dues

A possibility recently brought up by Rock is that this underpaying of students is actually a perpetual cycle beginning in the early days of university. Like junior sumo wrestlers, who have to wake up first, and eat after all the senior sumo wrestlers have eaten, getting paid peanuts may just be the way the university puts grad students in their place: i.e. that they are paid grunt work. Put succinctly, this is the, "Back in my day, I walked to school uphill both ways, so you should too," theory.

4. Grad Student Retention Strategy
This is my favourite, and relies on a basic understanding of cognitive dissonance. The basic premise is that if two people, A and B were paid $1 and $20, respectively, for doing something boring... one week later, B would say the the job was lame, and A would be lukewarm about it. The reason is because B can justify doing the boring job by saying, "Hey I got paid for it," while A cannot justify his actions based on money, and instead must think, "Well, I must have done it because I enjoyed it." This is basically what's going on in hazing rituals, where after a hazing ritual, the person thinks, "Well if I'd gone through something that dreadful, I must really enjoy being part of this group."

The basic idea here then is that since we're suffering so much (i.e. getting paid so little), then we have to justify to ourselves that we actually /must/ be enjoying it -- otherwise, why would we still be here? Notice this is a perpetual cycle, and so it acts a graduate student retention strategy.

Summary
At this point, all of these theories seem very plausible to me. Regardless, one thing is strikingly clear: regardless of which slice of pie you take, it sucks to be getting paid a grad student stipend -- but hey, it's better than not getting anything at all! (Clearly, I'm buying into the cognitive dissonance they've set up.)

* Please note: I of course realise that we're very lucky to get paid to do what we do. I'm being dramatic (e.g. "impoverished") to be amusing. :-)

Tony the Pen Conqueror

2007-03-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

*trumpets* I finished a pen yesterday. *trumpets*

There are few greater pleasures in life than finishing a pen until it is bone dry -- using it until all the ink is gone. I am pretty sure I have only done this a handful of times in my life.

A finished pen means that in my quest to "write enough" with my pen, I overcame all of the following potential obstacles.

Losing the pen
Having the pen stolen
Breaking the pen
Gotten distracted by another shinier, better looking pen

This kind of got me thinking: if I were to draw a straight line with a pen, how far would the pen draw before it ran out of ink? Along those lines, which pens have the best meter/cartridge writing ability?

PhD: A Life of Meaning?

2007-03-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I quote characters from TV to see if people call me on it. The other day, I did Linderman from Heroes:

Me: "You can only choose one path: a life of happiness or a life of meaning."
C: Why?
M: "To be truly happy, a man must live absolutely in the present. No thought of what's gone before and no thought of what lies ahead. But, a life of meaning, a man is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess about the future."
C: So, which path have you chosen?
M: I'm a grad student. What do you think?

I often shun group membership and labels. Instead, I usually prefer to be thought of as individual... although I definitely enjoy drawing on my PhD experience for humour. I guess it's one type of membership that has been meaningful to me and my definition of self. If there's one thing that I've learned: try not to take life too seriously... even if you're trying to make sure that it's meaningful.

Phrases that save a lot of grief

2007-02-04T00:39:00.000-08:00

"Without question." - In response to, "Am I prettier than her?"
"No." - In response to, "Does this make me look fat?" or "Am I getting fat?" or "Does size matter?" (this works both ways, according to Friends)
"Yes, dear." - In response to, "Do you think {we|you} can ____?"
"I didn't even notice her." - In response to any question or phrase involving another female (e.g. "Good lord. That girl's boobs were hanging right out of her shirt!")
"I love you exactly the way you are." - In response to any question fitting this template: "Would you like me better if I {were|had} _____?"

This has been a public service message brought to you by Tony's relationship with Cheryl, and all the blips from that relationship.

Overheard...

2007-02-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Today, while minding my own business:

Girl: I wonder if there's a book called, "Egotist's Guide to Life." If not, I should write one.
Boy: Hahahaha
Girl: What's so funny? I'm serious.
Boy: That's what so funny.

HOWTO: Teleport to School

2007-01-29T23:59:00.000-08:00

Five easy steps you can take to teleport to school.

Step 1. Have a little brother.

Step 2. Convince your brother to "carpool" with you to school.

Step 3. Get to the car first every morning, and hop in the passenger seat.

Step 4. Fall asleep.

Step 5. Wake up when you arrive at school.

If your little brother drives smoothly enough, the passenger (a.k.a. teleportation) seat works like a charm. Right now, my brother is writing a blog entry that looks exactly the same except Step 1 says "older brother". The trick, of course, is Step 3.

Banality of PhD Work

2007-01-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

I just read a review where the reviewer used the phrase, "results seem somewhat banal." This phrase seemed quite harsh: it's somewhere in the same area on the continuum as "obvious", and definitely in the area one would say, "is not a contribution." Just to make sure, I looked up "banal" in the dictionary: "drearily commonplace and often predictable; trite". I think you could make a good argument that work that is labeled "banal" is worse than "obvious." It's "drearily commonplace". Ouch.

To every PhD student, I think this kind of review is the one we fear. The purpose of a PhD is to provide an "original contribution to human knowledge": if someone says your results are "banal", well then, obviously, your stuff wasn't original enough.
Just to make this perfectly clear, I have drawn up a sketch (see above). I've numbered the important points on the scale that reflect how you feel about your work... and usually, these numbers are correlated with how far along you are in your PhD. Note that I'm currently in the midst of a #3.5. Note also that #5 is purely speculation. If I make it that far, I'll let you know how good my prediction was/is.

More Volleyball!

2007-01-21T22:28:00.000-08:00

And another video. Actually, I went back to the previous video and changed the audio (people were making fun of me for using a song that was made before they were born).

I've learned some good stuff this time around:

Don't let the song play through -- cut it out before it gets boring (usually around 1min-2min mark).
Change the pacing every once in a while.

Apparently, my use of every single video-transition available in Windows Movie Maker didn't bother anyone.

T2 @ 24hr Charity R4s Volleyball Tournament

2007-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Here's the first video from our 24hr adventure. It was awesome, and very tiring. I'm still a little bit sore. Some things I that will be hard to forget:

Having a great time with good buddies
Pulling the fire alarm by accident
Getting hit in the head with a volleyball while sleeping
Actually getting a block or two
Laughing my ass off
Having some of my sushi ninja-d

Things you learn in a PhD

2007-01-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

T: I just have to read this last paper.
F: If there is one thing I have learned...
F: There is always another paper
F: ... another to-do item
F: ... another email
F: ... another website with a crazy game or funny picture

PhD lesson of the day: go to bed when it's bed time.

Under Extreme Conditions, PhD Students Will Do Work

2006-12-18T00:42:00.000-08:00

N: Oh no! Youtube is down :-(
T: Haha... What are you going to do now?
N: I don't know... I guess I should go back to writing...

Life with a Daycare Downstairs

2006-12-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

My mom runs a daycare in our groundfloor basement. In case your mom was thinking about doing this, here are the top five and bottom five things about having a daycare downstairs.

Plus #1: Just going downstairs, you can see cute kids.

Minus #1: Just going downstairs, you can smell stinky kids.

Plus #2: When you leave, they all yell, "Bye Anthony," and you feel good that you have made a good, strong impression.

Minus #2: When your brother leaves, they all yell, "Bye Anthony," and you suddenly realize that maybe you haven't made as strong impression as you thought.

Plus #3: If you forgot to set your alarm, someone rings the doorbell at 8:30am to wake you up.

Minus #3: When you want to sleep in, someone rings that doorbell at 8:30am to wake you up.

Plus #4: If you're my mom, your lawn is always well-kept.

Minus #4: If you're me, you have to mow the lawn all the time, or you get to hear my mom complaining that, "The kids are tripping on the grass again."

Plus #5: When parents see you, your mom beams proudly when they say to her, "Wow, you look amazing for your age!"

Minus #5: When parents see you, you feel old when they say to her, "Wow, I can't believe he's your son. He's so old!"

As you can see, there are all sorts of tradeoffs. Figure out what's important to you to help you make your decision.

"Fat Pants": Some things change, some things don't

2006-12-14T16:36:00.000-08:00

When I was younger and I bought big clothes, I hoped I would grow into my them.

Now when I buy big clothes, I hope I don't grow into them.

One thing that hasn't changed: I always seem to grow into them.

Seeing C's Inner Princess

2006-12-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

Today, we were attending a farewell dim sum with for Joe at a super-expensive restaurant in a 5-star-like setting. At our table, we struck up an interesting conversation with another couple that had done some significant travel in South-East Asia. Early on, the conversation sounded something like this:

C: I think I should travel there soon before I get too used to creature comforts.
T: It's too late for you already.
Girl: Don't listen to him, girl! You go wherever you want to go! You go girl!

So basically, the couple was siding with C early on. But as the girl continued to share harrowing tales of monstrous bed bugs, used up tubes of after-bite, and Morroccan attacks with C cringing with every tale, the boy slowly began to see what I already knew:

Boy: Yeah, I don't know... maybe you should go very soon.

Toward the end of the meal, C went to the posh restaurant's washroom. Seeing an opportunity for some humour, I asked:

T: So, how was the washroom?
C: Ugh, it was terrible!
Girl: Actually, you should go RIGHT NOW. I don't think you should even wait until you get home. You should book your flight NOW.

Planning ahead

2006-12-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

C: Remember when you asked me if I was a gold-digger?
T: Well, who's not to say that you're not?
C: You're a student. If I was a gold-digger, then I'd date someone with real money.
T: Maybe you were planning ahead. If all goes well, I'll be rich in a few dozen years, and have a solid steady income courtesy of tenure.
C: ...
T: Or, maybe you're just a really bad gold digger.

Still learning after eight years

2006-12-02T19:59:00.000-08:00

T: Hey, come this way -- it's faster.
C: I can't step in that mud!
T: Oooh, so you're a princess now.
C: I've always been a princess. I've just been slumming it by being with you for the past eight years.

2006-11-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

Time to feel some pride...

Elmo stylez. "Be the best that you can be..."

Wit

2006-10-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

Upon finding out that an acquaintance from London and I had been assigned to share a hotel room together, I emailed him as a witty scare tactic.

From: Tony
To: P
Subject: Re: Room assignments
Date: Thu, Oct 26, 2006 5:29 PM

i snore a bit. just so you know!

(A short time later...)

From: P
To: Tony
Subject: Re: Room assignments
Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:53:48 +0100

so do i - and i'll be jetlagged so i know who'll be asleep first!

Something tells me that he was not kidding around... :-(

Lazy Wednesday Morning Emails

2006-10-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 11:33:43 -0700
From: Tony Tang
Subject: Art-o-meter: Gauges "Art Quality" by Attendee Interest

In use: http://infosthetics.com/archives/2006/10/artometer.html

Close up of device: http://web.media.mit.edu/~marcelo/art-o-meter/index.htm

I think it gauges more a piece's "poorness" quality rather than a piece's "goodness" quality. Look at the device carefully and see if you agree.

--tony

For a hint, highlight the following text: (The bottom line of text on the LCD says: "piece de merde." Loosely, this translates to "crappiness". Literally, this translates to "piece of shit".)

PhD Tip #1: Use your colleagues as support staff

2006-10-21T13:20:00.000-07:00

Getting through a PhD is tough -- one of the ways to get through it is to establish a solid support system. This includes an emotional and writing support team made up of colleagues who can help you through the tough times and times of uncertainty. For this, I rely primarily on C.

One of the toughest things about taking on this kind of team is that you have to be honest with yourself and take their comments with humility. C is really good at putting me in my place.

Recently, in regard to a poster I was making...
T: Hey, can you take a look at this?
C: Sure
T: I want to put points under the title to sum up the whole poster
C: I'm not sure you need summary points because it isn't like there is a lot there

L has also recently come in handy. It also took a while to get used to L's style...

In regard to an email I was writing to an HCI rock star...
T: Hey, can you take a look at this email? I'm not really sure how to phrase it. I'm kind of nervous about how it reads...
T:
L: ok i'm reading... just a sec
L: you're kidding right?

Actually, these comments were in jest, or taken completely out of context. Both C and L are really good editors and help me work through many of the ideas carefully.

I truly believe that having a solid support staff is key to success in writing. Most ideas take a few iterations to make them sound really good.

Tony's Theory of Recreational Sports

2006-10-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

For me to feel satisfied with a recreational sports outing, I like two of the following three to be fulfilled:

We win (the game).
I enjoy the company.
I/we play well.

If all three are fulfilled, then it is an awesome awesome time. If none or only one is fulfilled, then I am often left feeling kind of annoyed.

Insights from Generation Y: Useless Invention Ideas

2006-10-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

My brother J commented yesterday: "Nothing good can come of inventing a smell-sensor/simulator for cell phones."

To support his argument, he pointed out the following:

You rarely smell anything nice in life. (Can you actually remember the last time you smelled flowers?)
Nice smells (e.g. food) can actually smell bad without the proper context or when you are in the wrong context (e.g. crowded bus).
You frequently smell bad things.
Taking observations 1 and 3 together, he pointed out that you often do not notice that you have a sense of smell unless you smell something bad.
Finally, he noted that we are far too immature to be trusted with being able to SMS smells to one another. (Note: what is transient but would be funny to send to someone else?)

I think there is really only one smell I really really like: the smell of rain as it first hits the ground.

Cooking with Boys

2006-10-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

A boy's solution to the "this ingredient or that ingredient" problem in cooking was elucidated today on IM.

T: Garlic mash potatos or mash potatos with onions?
M: Hmmm... Tough call.
M: I'd go with garlic AND onions.
T: "When faced with two food choices, always go with both."
M: That's like my motto!

This solution also applies to the "soup or salad" problem. Always go with both.

Tragedy Strikes in the Lab Kitchen...

2006-10-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2006 14:57:39 -0700
From: Tony Tang
Subject: FreonTang Says: "Don't use the fridge in x518"

Hi All --

FreonTang here with another stellar kitchen cleaning update: x518 is clean! Also, do not use the fridge! It is broken. We will look into getting a replacement.

Extended Report:
While our cleaning expedition was a success, we had a minor casualty: the fridge. As it turns out, it is not a good idea to use a screwdriver and hammer to break ice willy-nilly since freon pipes line the freezer. The freon pipe was hit, leading to a sabotage-like situation where freon was leaking all over the place. Do not fear, our crack squad of cleaning guerrillas managed to evacuate the zone safely. As it turns out, freon is harmless (more or less), so we went back in to finish off the job (dedication!). So, although x518 is now clean, I would avoid walking outside near the ICICS building for the next couple of days since our ozone layer now needs to heal itself.

Cheers!
FreonTang

London Times to Remember

2006-09-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

When I reminisce about my first year at SFU, the most salient memory is of walking from residence to C9001 on a damp, foggy morning with too little sleep talking to S about nothing. I remember those mornings fondly: they were happy times. Heading to London this past week, I was reminded of those simpler, happier times immediately when S came to my rescue, and picked me up at the tube station. The pickup ended what had seemed to be a 30+ hour ordeal involving humidity, heat, and a milieu surprisingly similar to what Mr. Bean had to deal with.

I spent 9 great days in London, and 4 of these were with S and his girlfriend S. Amazingly, both have initials SW, but perhaps that is not important here. Back to London.

I admit that I was not overly excited about going to London to begin, but I am very happy with how the trip ended up.

People at HCI 2006 were great: I actually went to London for the BCS HCI 2006 Conference, where I was signed up as an SV. I met some great people from all over England and surrounding area. These people were fantastic, and I had a great time hanging out with them.

London theatre rocks: On the advice of Saul, I ended up going to three different shows: Stomp, The Producers, and Avenue Q. I loved them all. Smaller theatres, excellent actors, great shows... what more could a country bumpkin like myself ask for? After seeing all these shows, I thought to myself, "I am so cultured now." Upon reading the reviews of "The Producers" and "Avenue Q" afterwards, I was disappointed to read things like, "Only the basest of our society would enjoy this humour", "This is great for a rowdy night with the bottom most of society." So much for culture.

London is old: It's kind of weird, but the age of the place is palatable. You can actually feel its age. It made me want to bow. Of course, that would have been ridiculous, so I just gaped.

London's museums are HUUUGE: And there are a boatload of them, and they seem to all be free. Given the limited time I had, I literally sprinted through the museums/galleries I went to. The British Gallery was interesting, and made me think, "What kinds of things would I take if I were an archaeologist?" Here are some of the more interesting examples: (1) mummies! real life mummies! dead bodies! (2) the beard from the sphynx?!

Asian girls with english accents sound smrt: 'nuff said.

English accents didn't throw me: At least, not as much as I expected. I guess I am kind of accustomed to listening to them here. What was interesting to me was listening to the variety of accents -- most of which sounded English, but with their own twists on them. They really cracked me up. But the interesting thing is that they didn't really throw me for a loop. I felt reasonable comfortable. When two Persian women walked by me speaking in some foreign tongue, I actually caught myself thinking, "They're way more tourist than I am." In retrospect, it's far more likely that they were residents.

I didn't get a picture with Tony Tang: One of my little "missions" for London was to track down Tony Tang, an owner of a restaurant, and get a photo with him. S actually helped me track down the restaurant on the first day, and Tony Tang was actually inside! When we finally went to the restaurant, I think I sufficiently annoyed the waitress that when I asked to see the owner, she didn't believe my, "I want to get a photo with him," excuse. It was actually quite a tragic event, and one I will never forget. It also burned a 20£ in my wallet. Lesson of the day: get photos with owners of restaurants before dinner.

In the middle of all this craziness was S. He proved to be an excellent guide in London while I was there. In some respects, while our relationship has been sporadic at best, he has always been an excellent guide to places, and to life. I couldn't have made it out of SFU without him. Thanks, buddy.

Reason #12 for Wearing Matching Socks

2006-09-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

Many airport security checks now ask that you remove your shoes.

2006-09-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

Mah-Nah-Mah-Nah

Feeling blue? This video will pick you up guaranteed. I watched it five times straight the first time.

Mah nah mah nah.

Setbacks in Personal Growth

2006-09-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

Living at home has its benefts: free laundry ("Hey! What are you doing with my clothes!? Oh -- washing it? Okay."), free food (Tony.Weight += 10 lbs.), and free rent (Tony.MonthlyIncome += $700). Of course, it has its drawbacks, like your mom treating you like a baby ("Did you put your retainer in? Did you brush your teeth?").

Last night, I was able to put a stop to the babying by yelling incredulously, "Mom! I'm 26 years old! Come on!" We both had a good hearty laugh, and then I went to brush my teeth and put in my retainer.

As it goes, I don't think my little speech last night had much effect as they always seem to backfire the next day. My mom will never think I am a grown man. Today's episode went something like this: I made a big fuss about wanting to go shopping for some shoes alone, to which MamaTang reluctantly agreed. When I arrived home with the shoes, she took one glance at them and exclaimed, "Those are SOOO dorky," and immediately went to get them exchanged on my behalf. (Note: my mom actually said, "Dorky." Ouch.)

(Note about the image: I am aware that the black socks don't help much either, but that is what I happened to have on when I took the photo.)

Since I actually do not have much fashion sense, and hate going to the mall (much less to do a return), perhaps this was a good thing. On the other hand, you can see how this cuts away at any facade of autonomy I almost established last night. So, living at home has its benefits and drawbacks.

How to run a department: Wisdom from an anonymous department head

2006-08-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

From a department head that will forever remain anonymous:

"To keep undergrads happy, make sure they get sex. You do this by providing alcohol.
To keep grad students happy, make sure they get fed. You do this by providing food.
To keep faculty and staff happy, make sure their lives are easy. You do this by providing parking."

Good Times in the Sun

2006-08-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

I played with J today in a FunClub reverse 2's tournament. It was awesome. I haven't had so much fun playing for a while: it reminded me of why I started playing. It had all the good things in a good day of ball: good hits/finishes, solid defense, seemingly miraculous plays that make people shake their heads in wonder, and a tingly/achy body at the end of the day. Well, we weren't solid on defense, but there were glimmers of greatness.

On the day, we finished 3-3 in the round robin, and lost two straight in the tournament round. Since both games in the tournament round were lost to teams we'd beaten in the round robin, we were kind of bummed out that the day ended so quickly. If anything, I would say that we didn't have that killer instinct to finish teams when they were weak. This was too bad (for our egos), but I would trade it in a heartbeat for another fun day like today. Today was great: good sun, good ball, good company.

Insights into Graduate Work...

2006-08-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today on IM...

P: was in nap mode this morning
T: okay
P: which is like research mode without the research
T: lol

At Costco today...

2006-08-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

(In full in passing style...)

Girl: I want my gift so good that she's going to be jealous.
Boy: Really? Is that so necessary?
Girl: Absolutely. I don't want her lording it over me that he got her something better than what you got me.
Boy: Hmm...
Girl: It needs to be so big that it would be completely illogical for him to buy it or something bigger.
Boy: How would that be logical for me?

Poor guy.

Four Pillars of a PhD

2006-08-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

My PhD has literally been an emotional rollercoaster -- sometimes, I feel like a manic-depressive. In discussing this idea with other PhD's using a grounded theory approach, and have arrived at four key themes of PhD: depression, guilt, glory, and motivation. These themes are cyclic in nature, and can be extremely severe. At times, it can result in "academic suicide" in which someone decides to just plain quit.

Depression: PhD work is lonely. You're on a path that no one else has travelled, and far too often, it seems like no one cares what you're doing. This may or may not be true; regardless, it feels this way. As a PhD student, you invest so much effort, so much energy into your work -- and it's really personal energy since it is your work, and not something you don't care about. Often, this work gets rejected ("We're sorry to inform you..."). This typically brings on a fresh wave of depression and self-doubt. That depression is accompanied by feelings of apathy (what's the point?), and distaste (my project sucks). That meta-realization of these secondary feelings (e.g. of apathy) translate into more depression. This depression translates into a slowing of actual PhD work. Output crawls at times to a grinding halt because of this emotional low.
Guilt: The offshoot of this "PhD Depression" is guilt. You feel like you're wasting your own time, the time of people around you, and the money of those around you. This crushing guilt is debilitating -- it makes you feel more depressed, which means that you do even less work. The consequence of low output is feeling extremely guilty. It's hard to feel good about oneself in this situation. One's own self-worth always seems in question.
Glory: Sometimes, just sometimes, submitted work gets accepted ("We're happy to inform you..."). This outcome is often accompanied by ecstacy, chest thumping, fists in the air, and random shouts of elation. This energy is amazing but short-lived: after telling all of your closest friends and your family, getting the obligatory, "Congratulations," you realize that: (1) the world has (amazingly) not changed, and (2) still no one seems to care what you're doing. And so, you cycle back into that depression that we talked about earlier.
Motivation: This emotional rollercoaster known as the PhD then has a significant impact on motivation. Essentially what it means is that when you're riding a big high, you need to use that high and just drain it to the utmost degree, squeezing the very last possible piece of productivity out of it while you can.

There are upsides to PhD's, don't get me wrong. It's just that the downsides are so much easier to talk about.

Next time: What I've seen successful PhD students do...

Deeply Seeded Eccentric Beliefs

2006-07-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

This one will seem a little unusual...

A few weeks ago, I came to realize/remember a deeply seeded belief that I'd completely forgotten about, but that has undoubtably affected the way in which I have worked and thought about the world for the majority of my 26 years: cherries are the best berry -- all berries want to be cherries -- all berry eaters would prefer a cherry. It also a couple weeks ago that I unseated this belief as being completely ridiculous, and apparently only held by me in one embarassing fell swoop.

The funny thing about this belief is that it is so deeply ingrained that even though I know it is ridiculous, even as I write this, I can't seem to shake it.

I have spent the last little while trying to figure out why this could be the case. I have arrived at several possible contributing factors:

We always refer to the cherry on top.
Cakes always have cherries as the centre-piece.
Shirley-temples all have cherries.
The most special candied fruit always seems to be a cherry -- maybe because it has a stem.
Slot machines feature cherries as the biggest payout.
In nature, finding a cherry means you get two cherries.

I'm not sure if these reasons solve the mystery. Regardless, this post was not intended to be about my particular weirdness. Instead, this whole little episode has gotten me thinking: what other weird, deeply seeded beliefs do I have that I am not aware of? What other weird, unfounded ideas do I have that have affected me for my entire life yet do not really present themselves to my consciousness?

If you're like me, I'm sure you're shuddering at the thought, too.

At the tournament...

2006-07-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

My friend R and I were competing in an R2's volleyball tournament this weekend, and coming up to the mid-point of the tournament had lost every single game. While R and I were resting and rehydrating from our Nalgene bottles, another friend A came by.

A: So, how's it going out there?
Me: Oh man, we're getting hammered.
A: Really? What's in here? *lifts up the Nalgene bottle*

Instant Messaging Insights

2006-07-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

This little gem comes from my good buddy Eric, who used to share a lab with me.

Eric: When you type "LOL," you're not usually laughing, but when you type "hehe," you're laughing your ass off.

Is this universally true, or does this just apply to me?

Tough Choices in Gardening...

2006-06-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

We wanted to plant some little fruit trees in our backyard (e.g. apples, pears, cherries). While I would like to say that this idea would be to better the environment, to promote green-ness in our societies, yada, yada, I unfortunately have to say that it's because my mom thought we could get a good return on our investment in terms of free fruit. Our current yield: two small apples (about the size of a big cherry each), and one small pear (about the size of a small cherry). It may be a while.

Planting trees is not so easy, though.

MamaTang: So, what would this kind of fertilizer be good for our trees? *gesturing at bag*
PlantGuy: You don't want that one -- it's chemical fertilizer. After all, you're going to eat the fruits. What's in the fertilizer goes into your body!
MamaTang: Oh, okay.
PlantGuy: Yeah, you want this bag of manure.

Tonight...

2006-06-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight, C and I talked about living together.

C: Wouldn't it be fun to live with me?
Me: *noncomittal mumble*
C: What! Lots of guys would be willing to give their left nut to live with me!
M: Find one!
C: I can think of one at work!
M: Find two!
C: Done.
M: And they can't be handicapped.

Damn I am clever.

UPDATE: This is not to make fun of the mobility-impaired... Observe that if you lop off someone's left nut, he is now...

There is a chance I am getting old

2006-06-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I never considered this possibility, but there have been clues for a while.

Yesterday in the eyeglass shop:

Me: My friend was suggesting I get a pair of glasses that is more "fun." Any idea what that means?
Woman: Bwahahahhahahaha!
M: Well?
W: Shouldn't you ask her? Bwahahahahahha!
M: Oh.
*while she's showing me some glasses*
W: All the young kids are wearing them these days.

She said that twice! TWICE! Dangit! She was twice my age! :-(

The other clue is that the undergrads in my lab use all these weird phrases that I'd never heard before (e.g. hate on, stylez -- although apparently, it is also spelled styles). I'd assumed it was because they were young little gangsters or something.

In discussing this little tidbit with C today:

T: I even used the phrase, "hate on," yesterday.
C: ... To be cool or to pretend you're uncool?

I'm getting no love here. I should send her an IM to remind her that she's older than me.

UPDATE (8:27am): In relaying this message to my mom...

M: Yeah, your face looks old.

Dammit!

Soccer Memories...

2006-06-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

(on IM yesterday)...

CB: reminds me of when i used to play soccer!
   hahaha
   this guy is awesome
me: it's funny to see all these people get    totally burned
C: he's a bit of a ball hog... geez
me: so... very MUCH like you then
C: hahaha
me: ;)
C: apparently my 7 year old nephew is a    soccer star on his team...
   multiple hat tricks kinda deal...
me: wowzers
C: one time, he ran through the goal with the    ball and kept going
me: hahaha
   so...
   one time, i turned around, scored on my own goal
   ...
   and celebrated
C: hahahahahahahahaah
me: ...
   the funny thing is that it must be in the blood or something
   four years later
   my brother did the exact same thing!

Puzzled Creator

2006-06-07T01:22:00.000-07:00

Because I am a poor puzzler, I tend to enjoy creating puzzles (I think it's a sadistic streak).

Something funny happened though. I created this GREAT puzzle in Hong Kong (at least, I remember thinking it was great)... unfortunately, I never documented how to solve it since it "seemed so obvious."

Of course, now I don't remember how to solve it. The funny thing is that I know (roughly) what the solution is, but I don't remember how to get there.

Any puzzlers out there want to try this out, and let me know how to solve it?

2006-06-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

'Nice Set of Bumps' Volleyball Highlights

My only output for four months of work...

Yesterday Night...

2006-06-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

Me: Man, I had a depressing day...
J: Yeah, me too...
*silence*
M: How about we play some online Halo?
*silence*
J: I don't think us getting our asses kicked in Halo will make us feel much better.

Sign of the time, really. I check up our stats online... we have a less than 50% winning percentage in online Halo. Those dang kids are getting better and better...

Happy Enough ...

2006-05-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

I discovered Vienna Teng today. Listening to her music, particularly Gravity brings me peace right down to my soul.

I feel like nothing else matters when I listen to this piece -- like I just want to melt away into the melodies and let it envelop my entire being so that I could willing drown myself within. When I listen to it, it is easy to forget everything else around me. Time stands still. In my mind's eye, I can feel the notes as if they were whisps of mist swirling around me. They're gentle, but they can bear weight -- I can tilt my head back and rest on the strength of the voice, which is but another, thicker whisp of mist.

There are few other pieces that I really connect with to this extent. The only other one I can think of right now that makes me feel the same way is Vanessa Carlton's cover of U2's Streets Have No Name. The only real connection between these two pieces is that there's a piano going. Maybe I was meant to learn to play the piano.

More Tales from the Other Side (a.k.a. Mongkok)

2006-05-11T00:56:00.000-07:00

While in Mongkok with our uncle, our mission also included -uh- seeing where you could get pirated DVD's. Our uncle led us to a shopping arcade, assuring us that all the stalls in this arcade were for such "fahn bahn DVD's" (pirated DVD's).

Alas, the entire shopping floor was completely closed down. These guys had been raided twice just last week! (Two amazing things here: first, that it happened just before we got there and secondly, twice? Didn't the rest of them figure it out when the first batch got hauled off to jail?) Anyway, there were two shops still open there, both porn shops (XXX movies). Interestingly, my uncle told us, because porn is basically illegal in HK, they don't have copyrights on the porn movies... as a consequence, these guys didn't get busted with the rest of the pirated DVD's.

The guys from the porn stores worked a seriously hard sell -- if you thought the guys from Future Shop were annoying, you haven't seen anything yet. The porn store guys were like (roughly): "Hey we have better than 3X movies! We have 4X movies!" And they were doing things like shoving business cards into our hands, and trying to herd us into their stores. They even went so far as to go down the escalators with us to try to convince us. It was really quite something. These guys really are working their butts off to get a sale. Kudos to the porn industry in HK for having such studious frontmen. If Safeway had these guys working the vegetable aisle, we wouldn't need to sell so much bran in Canada.

Hong Kong: The Other Side

2006-05-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

We have spent most of our time here in Hong Kong on the "Hong Kong Island," and yesterday ventured to Kowloon Bay, which is part of the "mainland" side of Hong Kong. Our uncle took us into Mongkok (get over the name, because it gets better), and like good tourists, my brother and I soaked up all that the underworld had to offer wholly and completely.

After showing us the kinds of scams that the electronics dealers try to pull (my uncle found a ~$1000 CDN item for 25% cheaper just half a block down), my uncle took us straight into hooker territory. The first thing that occurred to me in this "hooker territory" was (seriously): "Hey, that girl dresses like a girl in Canada." My uncle said to me (a little louder than I would have liked), "Yeah, that girl's a hooker. You can just tell by the way they dress."

It turns out that any yellow or pink sign in Hong Kong is a sign that basically says, "Come on up, we got prostitutes and stuff!" Many of the signs have 300 or 330 or something on them -- I'd assumed this was something like a street number, but my uncle dutifully informed me that these were in fact prices. Translated roughly, one of the signs said, "See what you want, touch what you want, do what you want." Probably they should be appended with, "Get something that you don't want," too.

The funniest thing was seeing a whole street of these yellow and pink signs (alas we were too timid to take a photo) -- basically an entire street of prostitution -- PLUS one blue sign -- a pharmacy. My uncle said, "To buy the condoms from."

More stories from Mongkok tomorrow...

Tony's Guide to Contemporary China, Part 2: Some Tips

2006-05-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

Tip 1: Bring Immodium A.

Tip 2: Bring Exlax.

Tip 3: China is a BYOTP environment -- bring your own toilet paper (really!).

Tip 4: Bring alcoholic rub (to clean yourself).

Tip 5: Avoid puddles at all costs. Kids have holes cut in their pants for a reason. (it's weird)

Tony's Guide to Contemporary China, Part 1: The Rules

2006-05-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

I have spent two days touring in Xi'an, China. While this has been a largely exciting experience, I feel a need to impart my experience to others planning on touring the region. I will do this with three rules.

Rule 1: There are no rules.

Posted rules, such as road signs, lanes on the road and traffic lights -- rules in general -- are formalities that are rarely observed. The breakneck pace of driving in Xi'an is enough to make even a hardened video-game driver like myself freak out. In our taxi today, we spent a good 25% of the time in the other lane -- i.e. the lane going the other direction. It's not like this lane was clear of traffic, either -- we often had to swerve to avoid other cars. It was hair-raising.

Rule 2: There are no rules.

My favourite example of this rule actually occurred today while we were visiting a Buddhist temple. Posted quite clearly was a sign: "This is a Buddhist temple. Please be quiet, no photos and no smoking." Immediately underneath this sign was a fellow with a cigarette in his mouth, camera in hand, waving at his friends/family yelling: "Hey! Move over here so I can get the Buddha in the picture too!" Brilliant.

Rule 3: If there seem to be rules being applied, they are likely being applied to you.

Today as we were entering the Saaxian Provincial Museum, we encountered a sign, "Bags are forbidden." So, like a good tourist, I had my bag confiscated by the baggage check people after being politely, and then rudely informed that I would not be able to bring my bag in, and that I could just hold my damned water if I needed to drink some.

It was a grand total of 2 minutes before I ran into someone that had a bag -- INSIDE THE MUSEUM. I rationalized this because it was a she and she was holding a handbag. This moment of peace and calm was immediately shattered when I saw another man with a bag. A big bag. A freaking knapsack TWICE the size of mine. And then within the next 15 minutes, I saw another four people with backpacks... Believe me, I was pretty cheesed.

Of course, the sucky thing about forieng places is that you don't understand the language, so you really have no recourse. That sucked. I was not too happy about that.

Tony's Guide to Ancient China: A HOWTO

2006-05-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have spent the past two days in Xi'an, China learning about Chinese history. Given all that I have learned, I figure I should impart some of that information. If you ever happen to be in Ancient China, there are three big tips (that reflect what I have learned):

1. Avoid building "mausoleums" (a.k.a. tombs).

While the emperor you are building it for may be powerful, benevolent and all that great stuff, helping to build a mausoleum is not a good idea. The reason is simple: when the emperor bites the big one, you will be sacrificed and buried with him to continue to serve in the underworld. What a great surprise and honour, huh?

2. Avoid being a "right/left-hand man" for the emperor.

Because you are so high up in the chain, one of the great perks is that you get to hang out and flirt with the hottie concubines. Not too shabby. The problem is that because you get to hang out and flirt with the hottie concubines, emperors are quite scared you may boink with them. As a consequence, they'll lop off your nuts, first. I guess it depends on where your priorities are.

3. (For the women) Drink lots of booze, eat lots of fatty foods.

Back in the day (as my mom never seemed to tire of telling us), it was a good thing to be chubby. Further, having alcohol in your system made your cheeks rosy, which was known to be a real draw for the emperors.

Tune in next time for a more contemporary look at China.

Tony: An Owner's Manual, Part 1

2006-05-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Congratulations on your recent acquisition of a brand new Tony! Please stay tuned as we give you important information about your Tony unit.

To make Tony miserable, combine any two of the following, or all four for a rollicking good time:

Deprive Tony of sleep.
Put Tony in an uncomfortably small place.
Allow your Tony unit to overheat.
Take away Tony's internet access.

The repercussions of a miserable Tony include, but are not limited to the following:

Whining sounds emanating from your Tony unit.
Pathetic looks emanating from your Tony unit's face.
Moisture emanating from your Tony unit's outer shell, and after a long enough period of time,
Body odour emanating from your Tony unit.

Today, I was in a plane where our A/C unit died, and we weren't allowed to recline. Poop. :-(

Design: Environmental Redundancy

2006-05-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

In North America, toilets are filled almost to the top with water; in Hong Kong, they are filled only about 10%. If you're a guy that wears glasses, and use the toilet at night, you'll appreciate this.

At night, you're stumbling around, aiming as best you can (remember you can't see very well). The water in the toilet acts as a great redundancy in the environment to let you know you're aiming okay. If you don't hear the splash, that usually means that you're missing. Here in HK, there is no splash, which can cause significant consternation at 2:00am in the morning, when it sounds like you missed everything and are just peeing all over the bowl and onto the floor.

Here is a great case where when one modality (sight) is limited, our ears can help take over. The redundancy in the environment is great. I didn't even notice the redundancy until I came here, and my sense of hearing was hampered as well.

Asian Adults: Support ... is ... Lacking

2006-05-04T18:54:00.000-07:00

Asian adults are known to not be very supportive: case in point -- getting screwed by merchants, telling the story about how you thought you didn't get screwed, and then being told you got screwed anyway.

Jon and I managed to score a phone-computer wire for $60 instead of $88. We thought this was a great story of tourist-beats-merchant and happily told the adults last night at dinner. For the sake of our self-esteem, we probably shouldn't have done this since we now know the cable is probably worth about $20.

Hong Kong, Day 3: Briefer Random Thoughts

2006-05-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

I think my brain has ceased to function:

Every whiff you take of Hong Kong is different from the last. I never realized how under utilised my nose was until I got here. There are some crazy stinky smells to be smelled.
There is an underlying social "class" system that is extremely obvious to any outside observer. It is manifest in the dialogue (or lack of), body language, and even the physical structures of Hong Kong. It is ... interesting.
I wonder if I stick out like a sore thumb? I look the same as these people (face, hair), but I wonder if I dress differently enough or speak differently enough.
For some reason, now that I am four days out of a French speaking area (Montreal), a lot of my French has come back to me. I was speaking to my bro in CODE (French) today as we bartered with the Chinese merchants (we assumed they could speak English).
It is freaking hot here and extremely humid -- I'm not sure how to deal with my boys: boxers give too much freedom (the slapping is annoying), and briefs are too restrictive (the "skin-to-sweat-to-skin" glue-feeling is annoying).
Here, I am officially a fat guy. No bones about it. Many of these people comparatively emaciated.
Jet lag blows. Big time. I can't even stay awake long enough to finish this (I've already fallen asleep twice).

Hong Kong, Day 1: Random Thoughts

2006-05-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

I spent the day shopping (a full 7-hour solo flight)--if you know me in any capacity, you'll know this was a fairly remarkable feat. Being alone though, has the downside of not having someone to relay snarky or thoughts comments to when they occur. So, for posterity:

This post was almost not written (a.k.a. I almost got killed twice today): If you are a traveler and the cars drive on the other side of the street, do not cross the street on your own. Instead, wait to cross the street with people native to the area. This has two benefits: (1) buffer, and (2) they know when to cross the street. The corollary to this is not to cross the street with other foreign travelers; you'll all just die together.

Traveling is exciting (a.k.a. I ate weird stuff today): Those traveling in foreign countries really should be the kind to enjoy unexpected things and the excitement of feeling like an idiot. I do not enjoy either of these two things. And while I did end up enjoying what I got for lunch and dinner today, it was most definitely not what I expected (I think I ordered something different). Of course, since there is something of a language barrier, I did not make a fuss over it -- I just made a face, sucked it up, and ate it. The corollary to this is that if you work in the service industry and want to have a good time, give travelers things they didn't order.

Foreign things are still foreign to foreign countries (a.k.a. IKEA is the same): I visited an IKEA today, and it was exact same as back at home in Canada. I'm not really sure what I expected, given that IKEA is a Swedish store, but not much was different: (1) it still has a long one-way path that forces you through the entire store, and (2) it still has the little pencils. The most interesting thing was that everything was scaled down to match the Hong Kong form factor. Back at home, the kitchens can be huge (you can fit 10-20 people inside one); in Hong Kong, space is at a premium, so the reality is that you can only fit about 3-4 people in a kitchen (uncomfortably) -- the display spaces were scaled down to reflect this reality.

Street-level facelifts are common: Since Hong Kong is so humid, things seem to rott very quickly -- this includes the outsides of buildings. If you were to take a 5th-floor-and-up tour of Hong Kong, you would say that everything looks very old, gross and dead. The interesting thing is that the outside of the first three to four floors of many buildings (at least in the area I was in) are totally remodelled and made into commercial areas, replete with neon signs and huge ads. At the street level, everything looks vibrant and alive.