On Volleyball Partnership Dyanmics...
When it comes to selecting a partner in volleyball, a lot of things come into play, because while it may seem like a trivial thing, the volleyball partnership is a lot like a real relationship. Success on the court seems to depend not only on your individual skill, but also on developing a strong understanding of the other person's abilities and tendencies (technical and mental/emotional), and then being able to complement that. You end up playing together, eating together, talking to each other a lot, cheering each other up... The funny thing is that it's not something you can just have on the court, I've discovered; instead, you have to really nurture this thing outside of the court too, because you have to develop a real closeness and trust with one another to be able to play with each other effectively.
The on-court thing is probably analogous to any other "team" sport -- especially in team sports where the team is very small (i.e. I imagine it would be the same for doubles tennis or badminton): learning to play with someone else means understanding and trusting to play with the other person. That means developing strengths around their weaknesses, and learning to read each other on the court to guess what the other person is thinking. Again, this is not just an individual skill thing (although of course, that certainly helps); to really have success together, you need to develop a synergy where you're kind of in each others' heads. When you watch the really strong teams, I'm amazed by just how well they kind of "sync" with each other.
I've discovered that this extends beyond just the "play" aspect of the game, though. There's an emotional/mental part of the relationship that needs to be developed, too, and this, the more intangible aspect of the partnership, is actually quite tricky. The emotional ups and downs of a side-out sport (one where one team gets a point for every play) can be pretty immense: it's easy to get really high, or really low. Furthermore, in a partnership, you are literally touching the ball (i.e. influencing the play) half the time, which means you have a strong impact on the flow f the game. Some people play really well pumped up, others play well when they're low-key. Others get frustrated, some throw tantrums, even others start yelling at the other team... I'm not going to judge, but let's just say that your own demeanor on the court is often best served when you agree with how your teammate reacts and/or when your teammate understand how your emotions work. The funny thing is that sometimes, you'll get teammates put together that seem like they'll play well together (based on skill or whatever), but end up not working well together because they can't seem to sync at an emotional level. It's the deepness of this emotional aspect of the game, I think, that engenders the trust that you develop in one another -- not unlike in a real relationship (except that "the game" is replaced with "life").
Recent events have made me realize just how similar this partnership thing is to a real relationship, but instead of showing you how insecure I am, I'll couch them as lessons in partnership dynamics.
Regardless, these "partnership dynamics" are an amusing source of conversation for me. I really think the trust aspect plays a big part in one's feeling guilt or jealousy or whatever, because you really do feel them. That said, the great thing is that we all realise that it's not a real relationship, so while you can feel these feelings, most people can laugh about it too. I don't think anyone takes it too seriously. ;-)
For now though, my (volleyball) partner is still on vacation. I can still "whore" myself out (in a volleyball sense!) for another two weeks! I shouldn't be wasting my time on here! ;-)
The on-court thing is probably analogous to any other "team" sport -- especially in team sports where the team is very small (i.e. I imagine it would be the same for doubles tennis or badminton): learning to play with someone else means understanding and trusting to play with the other person. That means developing strengths around their weaknesses, and learning to read each other on the court to guess what the other person is thinking. Again, this is not just an individual skill thing (although of course, that certainly helps); to really have success together, you need to develop a synergy where you're kind of in each others' heads. When you watch the really strong teams, I'm amazed by just how well they kind of "sync" with each other.
I've discovered that this extends beyond just the "play" aspect of the game, though. There's an emotional/mental part of the relationship that needs to be developed, too, and this, the more intangible aspect of the partnership, is actually quite tricky. The emotional ups and downs of a side-out sport (one where one team gets a point for every play) can be pretty immense: it's easy to get really high, or really low. Furthermore, in a partnership, you are literally touching the ball (i.e. influencing the play) half the time, which means you have a strong impact on the flow f the game. Some people play really well pumped up, others play well when they're low-key. Others get frustrated, some throw tantrums, even others start yelling at the other team... I'm not going to judge, but let's just say that your own demeanor on the court is often best served when you agree with how your teammate reacts and/or when your teammate understand how your emotions work. The funny thing is that sometimes, you'll get teammates put together that seem like they'll play well together (based on skill or whatever), but end up not working well together because they can't seem to sync at an emotional level. It's the deepness of this emotional aspect of the game, I think, that engenders the trust that you develop in one another -- not unlike in a real relationship (except that "the game" is replaced with "life").
Recent events have made me realize just how similar this partnership thing is to a real relationship, but instead of showing you how insecure I am, I'll couch them as lessons in partnership dynamics.
- Do not recruit (or appear to be recruiting) in front of your partner. This is a definite no-no. I would say it is tantamount to ogling members of the opposite sex while on a date. I don't care about what people saying about the legitimacy of "Looking at the menu/not sampling" -- you should only look at the menu when the dish you're having is not around. Same goes for volleyball partners. Not only is it rude, but it gives them reason to engage in jealous rage.
- Do bad mouth those who are actively trying to recruit your partner. After all, they are trying to steal your partner! All that trust, time, and emotional investment is being stolen away from you! They must be either evil or sociopaths. Okay, maybe that's the jealousy talking. Hahaha! (I'm just kidding, I've never bad-mouthed anyone.)
- Do have a good alibi if you are playing with someone else. If you are playing with someone else, you'll actually probably feel kind of guilty. And you won't want to be found out. The reason you'll be feeling guilty is because it's not like cheating on your partner... no, you are actually cheating on your partner (no wonder). You'll want to have a good alibi, and someone else to corroborate your story. Non-volleyball people are good for this. The thing is, you'll want to make sure you don't get caught. I imagine the fall-out from going to a tournament where you were cheating on your partner, only to find your partner there cheating on you would be pretty huge.
- You are allowed to play with other partners if your partner is unavailable or otherwise away. Ah yes... the ol', "Would you want me to remarry?" thing. I think this is the only situation where you are allowed to play with someone else without feeling too guilty. Your partner going on vacation (and leaving you behind) is the time you can go hog-wild and play with anyone else in range (somewhat legitimately). And, while this will be great in the beginning (and perhaps somewhat dangerous), you'll end up realising why you picked your partner in the beginning: these people don't quite adequately fill the hole left in your game. In the end, you will often end up with a stronger appreciation of your partner.
- "Swinger tournaments" are named "swinger tournaments" for a reason. I thought the name of the tournament early this season was pretty funny, but the more I play, the more I realise that it really was like swinging (not that I would know exactly what swinging is like, but I can sort of imagine). It really was like swinging! It was the one setting where you could play with everyone else while keeping an eye on your partner! LOL!
Regardless, these "partnership dynamics" are an amusing source of conversation for me. I really think the trust aspect plays a big part in one's feeling guilt or jealousy or whatever, because you really do feel them. That said, the great thing is that we all realise that it's not a real relationship, so while you can feel these feelings, most people can laugh about it too. I don't think anyone takes it too seriously. ;-)
For now though, my (volleyball) partner is still on vacation. I can still "whore" myself out (in a volleyball sense!) for another two weeks! I shouldn't be wasting my time on here! ;-)
posted by tangaroo at 12:06 p.m.
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