Tony: An Owner's Manual, Part 1

Congratulations on your recent acquisition of a brand new Tony! Please stay tuned as we give you important information about your Tony unit.

To make Tony miserable, combine any two of the following, or all four for a rollicking good time:

1. Deprive Tony of sleep.
2. Put Tony in an uncomfortably small place.
3. Allow your Tony unit to overheat.
4. Take away Tony's internet access.

The repercussions of a miserable Tony include, but are not limited to the following:

• Whining sounds emanating from your Tony unit.
• Pathetic looks emanating from your Tony unit's face.
• Moisture emanating from your Tony unit's outer shell, and after a long enough period of time,
  
• Body odour emanating from your Tony unit.

Today, I was in a plane where our A/C unit died, and we weren't allowed to recline. Poop. :-(