The Pen Source

I have always had a weird relationship with pens: when I was young, I hated them; now, I use them all the time, but alternate between having way too many or not having any at all. It's like overdue fines at the library -- well, not really.

I used to really dislike pens, and preferred the use of pencils for all of the kinds of reasons a clumsy kid hated pens: use of pens was correlated with pen marks on my hands, clothes and (yes, it's true) my face. With pencils, I could also correct my mistakes quickly without having to wait (remember how cool whiteout seemed until you actually had to use it and wait for it to dry -- and remember what would happen if you didn't wait long enough?).

I don't use pencils much any more. My being too lazy to sharpen pencils has superceded the consequences of my being clumsy with pens. The problem now is that I alternate between periods of having way too many pens, and not having any at all. I think this may have something to do with the fact that I don't buy pens. I literally cannot remember the last time I bought a pen.

Somehow though, at times, I manage to accumulate enough pens to warrant the need for a pencil case (ironic) or the need to give them away (lest my bags be all full of pens). Other times, I have no pens, and need to ask to borrow them from friends lest I show up somewhere that has a crossword or some other paper that I need to fill out. I alternate from these two states all the time -- it's very weird.

Where do these pens come from? I'm not sure, but I suspect that many are freebies from job fairs and hotels and the like. I also have this weird habit of lifting pens off others' desks and not even knowing. The funny thing is that I notice it when someone leaves with "my" pen. When I used to sit next to Carman in the lab, we used to have episodes like this all the time:

C: (comes to meet with T, and leaves holding a pen)
T: Dude.
C: Yeah?
T: My pen.
C: Oh, sorry. (hands pen back)
T: No prob, dude.
C: Wait. Dude. This is my pen.
T: Huh? (innocent look)
C: Yeah!
T: Oh yeah! (hands pen back)

My friend Eric used to have an entire pencil case on his desk full of broken pens. I never asked if he did this on purpose or not, but every time I lifted one of these (and tried to use it), I was reminded of the theft. Due to the guilt, I would replace the pen, and of course, pick it up again next time I was around his desk.