Commuting: HOV Redemption

I have recently become a regular morning and afternoon rush-hour commuter. As a driver, there's nothing that pisses me off more than someone who basically cheats to get ahead of the traffic. I always want to yell out, "Hey buddy! Get back in line! We're all waiting here!" Speaking of which, I've often thought it would be a good idea to have phones in every car based on license plate so you could dial up the driver and yell at him.

When someone pulls into the lane next to you and busts by, there's nothing more rewarding than watching his lane slow up and then passing him... This feeling of redemption is only exceeded by the anger of watching someone hop into an HOV lane while having too few passengers. It's for this reason (and only this reason), I think Washington state's 764-HERO idea is a good idea.

Anyway, this feeling of unfairness is only matched when HOV-lane violators are caught and busted right in front of you.

Today, as we drove in, this guy in a minivan blasted by us, only to have a cop walk out into the lane, hold up the hand, gesturing him over. Of course, immediately before the cop came out, he was desperately trying to merge back into the lane. Fortunately, the people in my lane pulled together, dug deep, and kept him out. BUSTED. Big ticket for you, buddy!

I kind of wanted to honk as I drove by.

Be Careful When "Making Conversation"

Often, if someone says, "Man! Look at how [x] this [y] is!" ([x] being some adjective, [y] being some noun), it can be appropriate to respond, "Right on -- you like [x] [y]s?" For example: replace [x] with tasty and [y] with soup, or [x] with big and [y] with monitor, or [x] with buttery and [y] with popcorn. It all works, and it's a great way of making conversation.

The problem is that with human languages, these rules of "making conversation" do not always hold. Case in point, today at around 2:00pm.

M (a female colleague): Man! Look at how big and heavy this banana is! (holds out banana for me to hold)

Sadly, in my fatigued-from-watching-Olympics-24h-a-day state, I indeed responded:

T (grabs banana absently): Right on -- you like big bananas, too?

Pass or Fail, Pass or Fail

Today, I went to Seattle. I didn't get C* something. Here's what happened on the phone:

C: So, did you buy me anything?
T: No...
C: What? Why not?
T: I asked you last night, and you said not to bother getting you anthing!
C: It was a test!
T: Yes! And I passed!
C: No no, you were supposed to get me something, and then I could say, "Awww, you shouldn't have."
T: Well see, then I would feel doubly bad, because then I would have "gotten it wrong" twice: first, I would have deliberately did something even though you told me otherwise, and then you would tell me I shouldn't have, and I'd be thinking, "Man, I really shouldn't have." See, the way I see it, I managed to get it right twice! I passed!
C: You failed!

Pass or fail?

(ESL) Kids say the Darndest Things...

C* recently moved from working at ebay to finding a management position at The Bay. I was telling a group of my friends this piece of news.

T: So, she moved from ebay to the bay! Cool, huh?
P: Oooh.. she lost an 'E'
Group: *laughter*
N: No she didn't... she got a 'Th'
Group: *more laughter*

Both P and N are ESL kids... I only mention this because I think being ESL has something to do with their noticing this. I hadn't noticed before they mentioned it. ;-)

The Pen Source

I have always had a weird relationship with pens: when I was young, I hated them; now, I use them all the time, but alternate between having way too many or not having any at all. It's like overdue fines at the library -- well, not really.

I used to really dislike pens, and preferred the use of pencils for all of the kinds of reasons a clumsy kid hated pens: use of pens was correlated with pen marks on my hands, clothes and (yes, it's true) my face. With pencils, I could also correct my mistakes quickly without having to wait (remember how cool whiteout seemed until you actually had to use it and wait for it to dry -- and remember what would happen if you didn't wait long enough?).

I don't use pencils much any more. My being too lazy to sharpen pencils has superceded the consequences of my being clumsy with pens. The problem now is that I alternate between periods of having way too many pens, and not having any at all. I think this may have something to do with the fact that I don't buy pens. I literally cannot remember the last time I bought a pen.

Somehow though, at times, I manage to accumulate enough pens to warrant the need for a pencil case (ironic) or the need to give them away (lest my bags be all full of pens). Other times, I have no pens, and need to ask to borrow them from friends lest I show up somewhere that has a crossword or some other paper that I need to fill out. I alternate from these two states all the time -- it's very weird.

Where do these pens come from? I'm not sure, but I suspect that many are freebies from job fairs and hotels and the like. I also have this weird habit of lifting pens off others' desks and not even knowing. The funny thing is that I notice it when someone leaves with "my" pen. When I used to sit next to Carman in the lab, we used to have episodes like this all the time:

C: (comes to meet with T, and leaves holding a pen)
T: Dude.
C: Yeah?
T: My pen.
C: Oh, sorry. (hands pen back)
T: No prob, dude.
C: Wait. Dude. This is my pen.
T: Huh? (innocent look)
C: Yeah!
T: Oh yeah! (hands pen back)

My friend Eric used to have an entire pencil case on his desk full of broken pens. I never asked if he did this on purpose or not, but every time I lifted one of these (and tried to use it), I was reminded of the theft. Due to the guilt, I would replace the pen, and of course, pick it up again next time I was around his desk.

Another Sure Sign of Age

Today, as we drove to school, we passed by a teenage girl wearing a skirt, heading to high school. Instead of gawking as I would have in years past, the first thing that crossed my mind was, "Poor girl must be freezing." Ahh... the trials of high school coolness.