Academic Brainstorming Gone Awry

The reviewers for CHI 2006 thought we should use the word "coupling" instead of "cohesion" in our paper entitled, Group Cohesion on Collaborative Tabletop Displays. I had been brainstorming some possible changes to the title today, until things got kind of funny...

• "Group Coupling on Collaborative Tabletop Displays"
• "Group Coupling on Tabletop Displays"
• "Group Coupling on Tabletops"
• "Coupling on Tabletops"

Hmm.... Maybe now I have something for the Sexual Interactions: Why we should talk about sex in HCI workshop. Interesting.

Driving Tip

Today, I marked the return "back home" by renting a U-Haul 1-tonne van, and moving all of the big furniture back home. That was quite an ordeal. Driving a 1-tonne truck through rush-hour Vancouver traffic along Granville was very tough. I swear, those little lanes are not meant for anything more than a compact car. I swear, I almost swerved into a half dozen cars. Oh, which brings me to my driving tip of the day:

If you see a U-Haul vehicle, avoid it. The driver inside is probably a n00b.

Overheard at the mall...

We went to Premium Outlets today to do some shopping.

1: Dude, this kind of shoe is very sweet. The rubber tip here makes it so it doesn't hurt to stub your toe.
2: *puts it on* Kick me.
1: *punt*
2: Hey you're right this doesn't hurt.
1: Problem is that they look dumb. Actually, this pair kind of looks dumb. It's the brown over here, see?
2: Hey, this is kind of like my shoes...
1: ... Oh... yeah, you're right.

Okay. 2 was me, 1 was my brother.

More sounds from the battlefield

Sometimes, when playing Halo 2 with Xbox Live with my brother, the matches can get pretty heated. There's a lot of smack going around. Two choice quotes from last night's matches:

• "Haha! You got nothin'! I was playing Quake before you were born, home-boy!!!"
• "Ooh!! That's gotta suck! Better weapon, height advantage, and OWNED!!"

The geek factor is at an all time high... or low.

Use the Power!

I was talking to a colleague a while back about submitting a paper to a conference. The submission system is web-based, and the deadline was 5pm.

F: By the way, I'm not planning to turn off the submission system until after midnight.
F: (I'm in charge of it this year)
F: So feel free to take some extra time if you want it
T: NICE!
F: (if you have the power, use the power)
T: i'm not sure i'd vote for you to run the country, dude!!!
F: No, neither would I

Just as a bit of context, Canada is in the midst of a federal election right now because the current government was found to have squandered a few million dollars.

I think that's the first political joke I've ever made in my life.

Today I cracked open a coconut

Jon bought a coconut the other day. Today, he wanted to eat it, but couldn't figure out how to open it. He was banging at the top of the coconut to puncture a hole, but after about 15 shots, still couldn't get it open.

We thought about this problem for a few moments, but then Google came to the rescue: How to crack a coconut. I would recommend checking out the video.

I took the advice of the video, and after one missed shot (I hit the side of the coconut, and it went flying), I gathered myself and packed the coconut a good two shots. BOOM! The whole thing opened up. It was sweet. I plan on getting another coconut soon so I can do it again. For a good time, I recommend doing the same.

Learning to Write Neater

I used to think that Santa was dyslexic. I didn't have that kind of vocabulary, but basically, I thought he couldn't read properly. I remember two Christmases where I definitely didn't get what I wanted. One Christmas, I asked for a drumset, and got a woodworking bench. Another Christmas, I asked for some sort of flying superhero and got the "driving" superhero.

Somehow, my mom turned these mistakes around, and suggested I learn how to write better -- apparently, it was probably my "poor writing" that caused all the problems. And so I learned how to write much neater for the subsequent Santa letter. Unfortunately, although my mom got it right that year, I messed it up by finding my present "hidden" at the top of the storage closet.

Sounds from the video game battle field...

Jon and I just rented Ghost Recon: Summit Strike, a game where you're part of an elite strike force. We don't know the first thing about battling or guns. When we're out "battling for the world" in the game, our dialogue can be pretty funny -- especially if you imagine it being spoken by real dudes out in the field.

T: "Okay -- you pull out your rocket launcher and take out the tank."
J: "You got it."
T: "Okay! The tank is coming in! Shoot it shoot it!"
J: "I can't! I can't fire! The rocket launcher won't shoot!"
T: "What!? Hurry up! He's starting to shoot me!! JOOONN!!!!"
J: *click click* "IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!'
T: "NOOOOO!!!!" *dies
J: *standing in front of the tank* "DIE TANK!!!!" *click click*
J: *shot down by tank

T (dead): "Dude. How come you didn't shoot the tank?"
J (dead): "I'm not sure -- the gun wouldn't fire."
T (dead): "WHAT?! All you had to do was click the trigger button."
J (dead): "Oooh... look, the instructions here say you can't be moving when you shoot the rocket launcher."

Realities of the Tang Household

My dad and I are big eaters, and we're back at the family home for Christmas. My brother made the following observation about the situation.

"Usually when it's just mom and me, food goes bad and rots. When Anth's home, then there are no leftovers. When dad and Anth are home, then there's no food at all."

It's true. I'm going grocery shopping later today, and we just went yesterday. This is getting kind of ridiculous.

Value of a PhD

Via Phillip: What they don't teach you in grad school.

A choice quote that made me laugh (maybe I am already a cynic):

"3. Remember that a Ph.D. is primarily an indication of survivorship. Although the public at large may view your doctorate as a superb intellectual achievement and a reflection of brilliance, you probably know deep in your heart that it is not."

Ouch!

Automagic Lights

I recently sent an email to the support guys at UBC. I make no apologies for this kind of behaviour.

Date: Wed, 21 Dec 2005 00:41:06 -0800
From: Tony
To: tc@plantops.ubc.ca
Subject: Automatic Lights in ICICS x509

Hi --

Our lights in ICICS x509 turn off automatically every once in a while. We are not sure why this is -- can you shed some light on this issue?

Thanks

--tony

Okay... in my actual email, I did apologise for the pun. But I admit to you, my loyal readers, that the apology was a lie.

I am so punny

I like puns. Actually, I really really like them. I don't care that they think puns are the lowest form of humour, they still crack me up. (Much to C's dismay, I am sure.)

Today, I made up a good one.

We were leaving for dinner with the family, and I had the presence of mind to bring a couple of umbrellas.

My dad suggested we park closer to the restaurant in case it rained.

As we got out of the car, he reiterated his comment, and I whipped out both umbrellas saying, "Don't worry -- if it rains, I got us covered."

Being That Guy

The unfortunate consequence of the airlines going cheaper is that they're not going to be giving out food any more.

I remember my first experience with this: it was completely unexpected. All of my fellow passengers and I got on the four hour flight completely unprepared... At least, all but one of us. That guy had a big juicy hamburger that he unveiled about 30 minutes into the flight. It was still warm, and greasy smelling... And let me tell you, in that tiny little plane of ours, it almost started a riot. We were all drooling and looking at him enviously.

I was reminded of this the other day when I bought a greasy little sausage and egg McMuffin from McDonalds, and brought it onto the plane -- much to the envy of my fellow passengers. At 6 am, those bloodshot eyes can be deceptively homicidal!

Proclubboy: Setting it straight

My online handle is "proclubboy," and this has often caused a lot of problems when I first work with people. I think the problem is because people assume that "proclubboy" can be parsed as "Pro Clubboy," which suggests I am a big party guy. The fact that I am a little burly (and therefore probably could hold my alcohol) doesn't help much either.

The real story is that in 2002, I went to do an internship with Microsoft. To test a product, I needed an MSN Messenger handle. Since I was going to the gym (named "Proclub") every day, I named myself "proclubboy."

Telemarketers

It must be a very depressing job being a telemarketer. I have only answered about three phonecalls from telemarketers (today was one of them). I think most people just say "No," to these guys. I don't think I'd like to be a telemarketer. To have so many people say "No," to me would be a huge blow to my ego.

They are clearly on a script. Today, the guy asked me a question, and before listening to my answer, just continued on. It was weird.

Next time one of them calls me, I'm just going to put the phone down and see how long s/he goes.

Kids Say the Darndest Things: Science Class Edition

I help out at a Grade 6/7 science class every week. We introduced them to the periodic table (for the first time) the other day.

Teacher: "Does anyone know why gold is Au in the periodic table?"
Kid1: "It's Latin!"
Kid2: "What does it stand for?"
Teacher: "I'm not sure... does anyone know?"
Kid3: "It stands for aurum."
Teacher: "Very good!"
Kid4: "Is gold 'G-O' in the Latin periodic table?"

Ulterior Motives

I like going grocery shopping during the weekdays during the daytime, because they always give out free food samples. It's really a big scam, and everyone knows it, but it's kind of funny how everyone is playing their part.

Owner: "Here! Have some food, we're nice people!"
Saleslady: "Let me tell you all about this special product. You can pick it up from aisle 6."
Guy getting food sample: "Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes this is all very interesting information that you're giving to me about this unusual product I have never sampled before."

Owner (thinking): "Happier people == more sales."
Saleslady (thinking): "Good grief! You're drooling all over my product! Back off, you pigs!"
Guy getting food sample (thinking): "Yeah yeah whatever -- just give me the food."

Isn't it great when we all just get along?

Hole in my butt

Yesterday, C bought a new pair of jeans for a steal: $19.99. Today on IM:

C: "Damn! I have a hole in my butt"
T: "I think it's called your anus."
C: "... in my jeans!"
T: "oooh"
C: "Sometimes I wonder why I date you..."
T: "isn't it because I make you laugh?"
C: "I'm not laughing right now"

Staples' Customer Service: Wild Goose Chase

Today, I was at Staples.

T: "Hi, do you have an adaptor for this kind of power plug?"
Dude: "No." (starts to walk away)
T: "Do you know where I could find one?"
D: (annoyed) "Try aisle 6."
T: "Didn't you just say you didn't have them?"
D: "Yes."
T: "... Thanks."

Note that the dude was a customer service guy, and not just some random guy. (In case you were wondering.)

Tony Tanger

A while back, I visited my friend Karen Park.

K: "So how many new grad students are joining with you?"
T: "There are a few. There's only one new PhD student... her name is Karen Parker..."
K: "..."
T: "What?"
K: "Dude... that's my name with 'er' at the end."
T: "Oh yeah!!! I never noticed that."
K: "DUDE! You'd be the first person I'd call if a Tony Tanger joined my team!"

Childhood Experiences

I have the pleasure of working with young kids every once in a while. One day, this kid didn't want to eat his chicken for lunch. When asked why, he refused to answer. After a lot of prodding, he finally admitted:

K: "I don't want to eat chicken because last time I ate chicken, everything smelled like chicken afterwards."

I found out later that it was because he had accidentally poked himself in the nose with a chicken bone. Haha! Stupid kids!

Okay... that was me.

By Popular Request...

The 60 second blog has returned. Each entry here is written in 60 seconds. That's all I get each day.

J: "Mom's gone crazy! She's gone nuts!"
T: "What happened?"
J: "She bought Pizza Pops!"
T: "Yaaay!!!" (I bought them earlier that day)