Pumps? Really?

There are times when I am talking to C* that I have no idea what she is talking about. They occur much more frequently than I would like to admit. It's not that I'm a bad listener, it's just that we come from what seem to be different worlds: apparently, she lives in the now, and I happen to live in the 90's (or earlier).

Case in point (note, I have never told her about this misunderstanding):

C: So, I am thinking of getting some pumps.
T: Pumps? Are you nuts?
C: No way, they're totally in style.
T: Really? Okay...

So, as you can see, I am very good at hiding my ignorance of the fact that I thought she was referring to Reebok pumps from the 90's, instead of what I had always called high heels.

My day of discovery happened something along these lines: C* sent me a link to an ebay auction for a pair of pumps, presumably to either ask me what I thought, or to hint at a gift for the impending Christmas season; I clicked the link, viewing the pumps, and then proceeded to view the pumps at all angles, trying to find the pump for the shoes (recall that the Reebok pumps all had these little pumps). Confused, I ask her for the link again, thinking that I must have wrong auction. She sends it again, and sure enough, same auction. Then, it dawns on me: I should never buy shoes for C*.

No World Cup of Soccer in this House!

In the lab...

M: So, she asked me to go to a soccer game.
T: Oh... is that a good thing?
M: Soccer!? Dude! That's like porn for women!
T: Ahahahaha.

Later that evening...

T: So, M said something funny today.
C*: Oh?
T: Yeah, we were talking about soccer, and she said that soccer is like porn for women! Haha!
T: Wait.. you're not laughing.
C: It is!
T: We're not watching the world cup this year.

I'm not insecure, I'm just... okay, I'm insecure.

Security Broken

Today, a one of my mom's daycare kids broke half of our home's security defense system -- he pulled off the sticker. Fortunately, in our particular case, we do have a real security system as "backup."

The whole incident was quite funny to me, but it made me wonder: just how many homes are defended by a security sticker?

Pink Lipbalm

When I was in high school, I took Accutane (which I probably wouldn't have taken given its side effects, had I known about them) for my acne. One of the most severe side effects was dry lips. Ever since then, I have been nutso about having lip balm, and I can feel when my lips are even hinting about being dry.

Without my lip balm on me 24/7, I pretty much freeeak out. Today was one of those days. We were out and about, and there was no lip balm in sight. The first one I saw was the pink one in the Gap, which I basically had to take. Little did I know the strength of the pungence of this lip balm.

As soon as I opened it up, the first thought in my head was, "Where's the hot chick?"

After I thought that, I couldn't help but think that every guy walking by me was thinking the same.

When I picked up C* today...

T: Hey, aren't you gonna put on a belt?
C: No, girls don't wear belts.
T: They don't?
C: Nope.
T: How come your pants have belt hoops then?
C: It's for show.
T: *blank look*
C: You know, like boobs.
T: Oooooh.

C cracks me up. :-)

Blocking Shots in Hockey

In conversation with Anand after watching the Calgary Flames fearlessly block shots in a 4-3 hockey game...

Tony: those flames have balls man. i don't think i'd ever block a shot.
Tony: call me a wuss, but my dad always said, "safety first"

Saving the World

In an IM conversation today with my friend K (edited)...

K: how was your Christmas?
T: was relaxing and fattening...
K: same

T: my bro and i played a lot of video games too
T: we needed to save the world
T: it's a heavy burden
K: I can imagine
T: it's like carrying The One Ring
K: but with more button mashing
T: well sure, but that would not do the pressure justice.
T: you have no idea how tense it can be
T: the fate of millions of innocents in our hands...
K: it's impressive you had such a relaxing holiday under that much pressure!

K cracks me up.

Textbook Choices

My brother is taking "Statistics for Geography." The professor chose The Complete Idiot's Guide to Statistics for the class textbook.

It says a lot, I guess, about what a Math prof thinks about Geography students. ;-)

Actually, the choice was justified. Think about it -- in 5 years time, his "textbook" is actually one that will, (a) be reasonably accessible (readable) and useful, and (b) likely not be thrown away (due to its garish colours and joke potential). Most of our other texts are thrown out in two years time (at best).

Academic Rewards

"No problem," the two greatest words you can hear from the lips of a customer service person.

Today, I went to UBC Parking to get a parking pass. As a graduate student, I knew I had priviledges, but seriously, it was better than I'd expected. If you surf through the website, you'll see they expect you to bring in your car insurance papers -- something that I'd overlooked as, "Hard to forget since it's so common sense." Anyway, I didn't even think to bring them today.

But instead of being disuaded, I played the "Dumb Student."

Me: "Hi! How are you? -- I'm a graduate student, and I just wanted to see what I'd need to get a parking pass."
Lady: "Oh, okay, well, do you have your car insurance papers?"
M: "Ooh! I didn't know I needed those."
L: "Do you know your license plate number?"
M: "Yeah."
L: "No problem."
M: "YEEEEHAWWW!!!!!" (thinking)

And she signed me up on the spot. It was brilliant, and the single greatest reward of my academic career, bar none.

At SFU, there just plain wasn't enough parking, so you had to enter a lottery and be awake at 6:00am or something crazy. At University of Calgary you needed to sign up for waiting lists for various parking lots (my friend put in his name during first year, and now, eight years and two degrees later, his name has finally popped up).

Experiences at Government Offices

Government offices, regardless of what issue they handle, the clientele they serve, always remind me of the strict Soup Nazi protocol.

• "Take your number here."
• "Sit here."
• "Wait for your number to be called out. If you miss your number, get a new one and start over."
• "Fill out your forms correctly. If not, you will be either, (a) ridiculed by the person handling your case, and/or (b) sent back to the back of the line in utter disgrace, and/or (c) have your existing forms shreded so that you will have to fill out a new set."

You'd think I'm kidding about the last one there, but the Passport Office has an application that has a ridiculously small, but strict box for your signature. If your signature goes outside, you're hosed, and have to start over again. They are good enough to include extremely dire warnings (in italics) that all hell will break loose if you miss the box or go outside the box with your signature. This only serves, I think, to make the form-filler nervous.

For instance, I was so nervous signing my name, my signature didn't look real the first time (too many squigglies from my nervous shivering), and I went outside the box twice. Believe me, the gas companies were pleased with that, since I had to drive back to the passport office three times to pick up new forms.

Prepping for extended family dinners...

When you're meeting the extended family, you have to prep for the usual questions. Tonight, I was fairly prepared for most of the questions, e.g.:

"What's your name?" --> "Tony Tang"

"How are you related?" --> "I am dating C*, who is the daughter of C*."

"What do you do?" --> "I am a graduate student at UBC."

"Where do you live?" --> "Right here in Vancouver."

"How long have you been dating?" --> "7 years."

Yet tonight, because this was really really extended family, I got a couple of really tough questions that had me respond with, "..." It was a rough night.

"When are you having children?" --> "..."

"So, how long have you two been married?" --> "..."

I did manage to come up with a good one on the fly tonight though:

"So, why aren't you married?" --> "C* hasn't proposed yet."

Hit or miss?

Sounds from my new room ...

"Why won't this mess just clean itself up?!" ... while I was cleaning it up.

"SWEEET!!" ... when we hooked up the TV and got a working cable signal.

"Oh no there's more stuff?! What, is this stuff just reproducing??" .. when I found another box of stuff.